Friday, January 31, 2014

Happy Chinese New Year 2014!


If you're celebrating it, then you get a do over the resolutioms that you did earlier this month that you failed to keep.

As for mine, I guess you could say that I am following my resolution of not having plans and goals, and what do you know, unplanned plans have started cropping up and wow, this might be the last angpau from my parents in my entire life.


I am keeping this motherfucker.

Gong xi fa cai people.  May the horses actually bring you fortune this year.



Monday, January 20, 2014

How Teachers Wearing Black Court Shoes Help Students


1. It instills discipline



When a teacher wears black court shoes, it shows that she has high discipline.  Black court shoes are probably the ugliest shoes ever regretfully designed, hence it requires a lot of willpower to wear them.  When students see that a teacher wears these abomination of shoes, they would be inspired to be as disciplined as their teacher - to not play truant again or actually do their homework.

2. It promotes intelligence



The design of such shoes is a work of art.  Its craftsmanship, and the complexity of it compels students to unlock their ability to think critically.  Research has shown that students excelled in most of their papers in their national exams, thanks to their teachers who wore black court shoes to class.  The only paper they did poorly, and even failed was English Language.

3. It boosts creativity



The rich, black colour of the shoes can spark every student's inner Van Gogh.  Teenagers are rebels at heart.  Looking at their teacher's black shoes everyday enables them to rebel against monochromatism, hence an outside-the-box artisan is born.

4. It encourages motivation



The heels of black court shoes are only 1 to 2 inches high.  It is a metaphor for life.  It symbolises the heights in life that students should go beyond.  Upon seeing that their teachers are only able to wear heels of 2 inches high, is motivation enough for students to work hard, get a degree, get a masters degree and finally a PhD, and not become a teacher.

5. It protects students' emotional well-being



Toes are fucking ugly.  You can give it a pedicure and put flowers on it, yet they will still look damn ugly.  Students do not need to see the most naturally disfigured part of their teacher's body.  Covering them up saves them from early scars of life.  Since the enforcement of black court shoes on teachers in school, teen suicide rate has dramatically dropped.  True story.

Q&A:
What are the risks of teachers wearing colourful, gorgeous, fashionable, fun, more-than-2-inches, non-court-shoes shoes to class on students?
Brain damage, moral decay and devil worship.

In conclusion, be a good teacher.  Only wear black court shoes to work.  Our generation deserves it.



Saturday, January 4, 2014

Happy New Year 2014!


I'm probably the last person to write a new year post due to the non-stop partying, travelling and the disorientated feeling of having to wake up at 5 in the morning again and face old and new monsters at work.

So yeah, happy new year!

Now, RESOLUTIONS.

I basically achieved about half of my 2013 resolutions.  And I do not want to go through that list again.  Let the past be the past.


Therefore, for 2014, I want to officially announce that there will be no resolutions made, nor goals to achieve.


There will only be lots of carpe dieming, and living life to the fullest, dangerously.  No plans, no goals. Just living and seizing.


Some of you also might be wondering, will 2014 be the year that I finally hang my bachelor status?  Have I started planning for my dream wedding?  Honestly, all I can think of now is getting as much booze as possible, throwing a bachelorette party, pre and post; and checking how expensive it is to fly to Santorini.  LOL.  I hope I do grow up soon.


Okay so maybe I do have one tiny resolution.

My new year's resolution for 2014 is to continue what I resolved to do in 2013, that I have failed to do in 2012, that I have planned in 2011.


Happy new year everyone.  I hope this year will be a better year for all of us.

Mine would suck though, since I'll be working on almost every Saturday starting this year.


FUUUUUUUUU