A wedding is a beautiful, fantastic day, but one is enough. Now I know why people say 'you only marry once' (traditionally). Because planning a wedding is a bitch. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
From the beginning of day 1 until the eve of your wedding, say goodbye to sanity, and say hello to stress, anxiety and emotional and mental instability. Your relationship is put on the ultimate test - there will be countless suggestions and threats of postponing, canceling and even taking a break -forever. Not to mention the amount of crying and the verge of cutting, whether in the room, on the bathroom floor or in public. If you survive this, then yay, congrats, you gonna be strong enough when shit hits the fan during your marriage.
During the final week of the wedding, I couldn't wait to get married. Not because I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with the hubs, but I just want it to be over so that I can get my life and sanity back. Now that I have my life and sanity back, I am happy to spend the rest of my life with the hubs.
So for those who are planning or about to plan a wedding, my condolences to your normal, happy, sane life.
To help you out (because I'm a really nice person), here's a list of the best people/service (in my opinion) to be at your service (if you are based in Sabah of course):
1. Venue/catering : Juta Hotel & Sutiah Corner Restaurant (Keningau)
1. Bridal studio : Memories Bridal Gallery (KK)
2. Actual day photographer: Lucas Ting of Memories Bridal Gallery (KK); Nicklaus Wong (Keningau)
|Credits to Lucas Ting|
|Credits to Nicklaus Wong|
5. Sound & lighting : Mysound (Keningau)
6. Cake : Rufina Undan (Keningau)
7. Invitation cards : Ideal Print (KK) & Khalifa Affnan (Keningau)
8. Deco: TJ (Keningau)
9. Makeup artist & hairstylist: Ewan & Johan (Keningau)
Since I'm married and have gained like 10000XP in planning a wedding, here are just like 3 tips I think you could use to stay sane.
1. Get all the help you can get
It's going to be overwhelming, even if it's just a one day event. So get a wedding planner or an adviser to help you in every single way. Get an event coordinator/floor manager to make sure your day/night goes smoothly. You can't afford to go ape shit crazy when something goes wrong. Let your floor manager do the ape-shitting crazy. You need minions to assist you (if you have a gaggle of bridesmaids, then they are your minions). Don't just choose them for the photos, choose them for their dedication to put your needs first. Get a hard drinks supervisor to make sure the waiters don't steal your liquors and wines. Get a cake supervisor to make sure your cake won't go missing. Liquor and cake heist - true story.
2. How to save budget
Money is ALWAYS the issue. Going over budget will drive you to the wall. So if you want to save budget, DIY anything that is DIYable. Of course you need talent for that. If you're a talentless loser, then get your bridesmaids to do it.
Also if you want to save budget, you could do away with having an army of bridesmaids. I only had one maid of honour and one bridesmaid. Okay I might be lacking in the female friends department (not because I'm a sad loser - but because all my gal pals are far far away and my female colleagues are all married with 3-4 children and I'm left with male friends who can serve no purpose in this time of girl power need), but at least I got to save a lot.
Also, another way to save a lot of money is not by spending too much of pre-wedding photos. Invest instead on actual day photos and videos. You can have tons of pre-wedding photos in the future, but you only get to do your wedding once. Unless you want to go through all that planning shit again.
You fucking need this. Find out what works for you well. Working out is the best way for me to de-stress. There was one time I was really stressed that I almost went for a run in the middle of the night in a thunderstorm. Thank god for common sense. Oh I also had shots of vodka to calm the nerves. Hm, stress drinking and eating are actually bad for you, so take it easy (if that's your de-stressing method). Better yet just go for a run, play with your dog/cat or do tv shows/movie marathons when things get too much. Don't go to the kitchen.
I hope you find this helpful, and I also hope that you won't change your mind to get married after reading this. I know I make it sound terrible, but that's just probably me, and I'm not your average girly girl who has a dream wedding since she was six. I know some people who LOVE planning weddings and they actually miss it. You might be that kind of person, and you might actually enjoy it.
But one thing's for sure, whether you will revel in planning your wedding or you will have episodes of suicidal thoughts, I can promise you that on the day of your wedding, you will be free of anxiety. It's like you have used up all your fucks prior the wedding and when the big day is finally here, you will have none to give. Even if you still have fucks to give, just let it go. Your bridesmaids are late? Fuck it. Your cake is missing? Fuck it. You tripped and fell on your face? Just fuck it. You have gone through a lot to give a flying fuck. Whatever disaster happens on that day, it will remain a disaster for that day, but it will be a legendary tale to be told in every family gathering until your third generation until they get sick of hearing how grandma's boobs slipped out of her wedding dress.
|A disastrous photo of a drunk bride that I will cherish forever|
So dear future newly-weds, your roller-coaster ride starts now. HAVE FUN, STAY SANE!