Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Some Students Just Want To Watch The World Burn

Today, I just set my kids on fire.

Not literally of course.

Though I believe it would be quite thoroughly satisfying if I could do that.

For the past few weeks, it was hectic with a flurry of competitions in school.

I thought that after more than two years of teaching experience, I'd be able to handle kids and their dumb competitions.

I thought that, hey, kids are interested to join competitions without being forced to, therefore, they would commit and will do everything to win.  I'd just have to be as committed to them to see them through.

On the contrary, I had multiple meltdowns.

I questioned my vocation.  I felt like a failure.  I felt unappreciated.  I felt trampled on.  I felt like I have wasted my time and energy with kids who didn't put in half of their effort to win.

I hated my job.

And no matter how many times you make it clear to them that THEY are the ones who are competing, they still take things so easily.  Thinking that victory is just a fucking smile away.

That's what happened to my debate team today.

Since day one, they lacked commitment and were lazy.  When I told them to just quit, they refused.  I applaud their fighting spirit.  But I only got to see them really debate with each other the day before the competition as they only finished writing their scripts about two days ago, in which they had about two fucking weeks to get it done.  Yes, I made them write their own scripts.  I believe debaters should not be memorising perfect scripts written by their teachers.  And with severe lack of preparation, it hurts my brain just looking at them debating like rocks.

And the moment they opened their mouth, I knew they would get shredded badly in the competition.

If I were a normal, kind hearted, face-saving teacher, I would have not allowed them to enter the competition, as it will only embarrass them, me and the school.

In all honesty, I wanted them to continue competing not because I don't believe in giving up.

It's because I want to watch them burn.  Fuck embarrassing ourselves.  I want them to have real education.
I want them to suffer the consequences of their action.  I want them to know that life is full of thorns before one can reach the bed of roses.  I want them to realise that they have to work their asses off if they really want something.

And that was exactly what happened to them.  When I heard (I wasn't there because I'm done wasting a second with them) that they were muted by their opponents and lost miserably, I didn't feel any shame (people who know shit can judge me for being a shitty trainer for all I care), instead, I secretly gained a sadistic feeling of satisfaction.

Not because I'm a cold-hearted bitch.  Well, maybe a just a little.

But because the objective of my life lesson for them has been achieved.

You can tell me I'm a bad teacher, but I still wanted them to learn, even though they were the cause of my recent suicidal thoughts.  So fuck me, right?

Therefore, when all teaching methods have failed, the only thing we can do is to watch our students burn till they learn not to play with fire.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Tuesday Poetry (Or, Amanda Wants To Talk About Something But Doesn't Really Want To Talk About It)

It Burns Brightly In The Night

It burns brightly in the night
The mighty Candle, a shining light
it burns brightly to
light the darkness of the night

It burns brightly in the night
it burns, it burns -
Oh how it burns to give light

It burns brightly in the night
wax scorched by the flame
it drips, slowly like
blood of pain

It burns brightly in the night
body deformed by fire
soul chars into ashes
left nothing but a white, hard carcass

O candle -
you sacrifice yourself
for those who seek light
but you die in vain
- when you burn for the blind

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Pak Mie Shelter: For The Love of Dog

I'm sure most of you who bothered to watch the 24-minutes long video circulated around Facebook about a month ago have heard about this kind sir, Pak Mie.

If you haven't, 'cause I don't know, videos of ordinary people doing extraordinary things are not your thing (monkeys sniffing their butts are), well, this person Pak Mie is an animal loving saint. 

What he does is he rescues strays and cares for them.  All 700 of them. And mostly dogs.  He's a dog person.  And that makes him even cooler.

Therefore, with the spirit of Lent in me and the fact that I should be doing charity once I started working (unless the weekly church collection counts) to balance my karma and to bribe the universe to be good to me, I decided that I want to help this awesome sir take care of his dogs.

There are so many charity bodies out there, but somehow, this one struck a chord in my doggy-loving heart. 

It has been one of my ridiculous day dreams that if ever I get fucking rich, I'd like to built a shelter for all the stray, emancipated, sick dogs roaming around my hometown.

And Pak Mie shares my dream, only he materialised it.  And he's not even fucking rich.

And I know what it's like to be surrounded with lots of dogs bursting with all their love for you.

I also know what it's like to feed them.  Cooking for 10 and feeding them is a big task.  But cooking for and feeding hundreds of them? Effort Level: Dogs.

Therefore, I totally feel him.  So while I wait to get fucking rich to build my own shelter, I'll help him out.  If given a choice to save endangered leatherback turtles or dogs, I'd choose dogs a million times.  

So fellow dog lovers and fellow Catholics who badly needs redemption especially in this month of Lent, let's help Pak Mie out save more dogs.  You can check his Facebook page for more details on how.

Here's that long ass yet touching video that you saw but didn't bother to watch:

P/s: I hope there's no judgmental fucks here who think that I should help my fellow blind, deaf, spastic, poor, orphaned, old or abused humans instead of mere animals.  Seriously, I don't even want to argue with you.  For every retarded comment you make, a puppy commits suicide.