Konsep Guru Penyayang. It basically means we have to be 'caring' towards our kids.
But hey, isn't busting our asses doing everything we can to help our kids considered 'caring'? Sacrificing our free time to assist and coach them, giving them sound advices, instilling moral values and teaching them consequences of their action?
Apparently, that isn't enough.
Tomorrow, as the 'new concept' is launched nationwide, we teachers have to go to school half an hour earlier, stand by the main gate and greet our students with bright smiles. We then give them mass-produced bookmarks to show that we care, even to students who don't give a damn about studying, and then we as class teachers have to award our students tokens of appreciation for whatever good things they do like, do well in exams, excel in sports or probably just for showing up in a uniform.
Basically, starting from tomorrow, we have to be nice. Because we have to show these attention seeking children that we care.
Translation = No more yelling, nagging and awesome, creative punishments.
Just. Pure. Love.
...And that's when the sarcasm comes rolling in. I adore how cynical my colleagues are, old and new.
When our kids enter class, we must greet them, fix their tie, and give them a pat on the back. Also, pull out their seats for them, all 40 of them.
When our kids are rude at us, we must speak as softly and motherly/fatherly as possible. Even if they spat you on the face. Ignore the spit running down your face and just smile as sweetly as possible.
We musn't cane our kids, make them stand up throughout the period, or kick them out of the class, and of course, bags shouldn't be flying out of the class anymore.
If our kids decide to sleep in class, hell, let them be! Provide them with a pillow. Wipe their stinking drool. They must be tired doing their homeworks all night, right?
If our kids decide to key our car, provide them with spray cans. You could use a new paintjob.
If our kids challenge our authority, back down. Apologise profusely.
If our kids break any rules, we don't have to proceed with any punishments at all. We should just hug them, tell them it's okay, and most importantly, tell them we love them no matter what.
Wow, with such concept, students will finally have a conducive learning environment! How can they not get 21 A+s or finally be literate when there's no more punishment and yelling, but just heaps of love and care? What's not to LOVE about this concept?
Now excuse me as I have to prepare a red carpet and a banner to welcome my kids to school tomorrow. And by George, there will be fireworks too.
|Don't forget to replace bullets with paper hearts.|