Friday, January 27, 2012

All Dogs Go to Heaven

If you have watched this animated movie when you were a kid, then you'll know and believe in your heart that all dogs do go to heaven.

Even when you are no longer seven, and you have bills to pay.

I lost a pup recently, and it was heart fucking wrenching.

I kept rewinding in my head the scene where I found him dead, every day since.

Til one morning, when I wake up, I didn't feel the need to relive the harrowing experience in my head anymore.

Your consolations and happy thoughts have helped me grieve through it.  Thanks.

"Heaven is the realm of eternal happiness. God, in his infinite wisdom, will certainly grant humans the company of their loved ones, even if one of those loved ones is a dog.  God can do anything when it involves the peace and serenity of his greatest creation, a human life. That’s probably why he gave us dogs in the first place." ~Robert P. Lockwood, Catholic New World columnist

And that's why I believe Gabby is now chasing rabbits and cherubims all day long and LOLing at his brothers and sisters who have to fight for bones thrown from the kitchen on earth.  It doesn't hurt that much when you keep that thought and faith in your head.

Though the Prebysterian church may beg to differ.

Thank God I'm Catholic.

Watch down on us, baby.  Till we meet again.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

R.I.P Gabby Baby

Gabby died on the first day of Chinese New Year.  He was only 6 months old.

The neighbour called my dad, saying that he saw a black dog being hit by a car on the highway in front of his house.

My brother and I hurriedly drove to said highway, praying really hard that it wasn't one of our dogs.  Gabby was indeed the only one who wasn't there wagging its tail, greeting us at the front porch.

As soon as the car got to the highway, I was a little bit relieved that there wasn't any dog on the road.  That maybe, the neighbour saw it all wrong.

As soon as we parked the car at the shoulder of the road, I did see a black dog lying on the grass.  Still praying that it wasn't mine, my world shattered as I saw a green collar on it.

It was my Gabby.

I prayed he would still be alive, just maybe severely injured.

When I reached towards him, my heart broke like it never did before.

His eyes were wide open.

Yet very much lifeless.

My baby is dead.

Gabby is gone forever, and the little burial ground behind my house will always be a painful reminder that there is one puppy less greeting us with an eager face and wagging tail.

It will be painful because he was the only one who would give us the most sympathetic puppy dogs eyes.  There will be no more forlorn eyes looking at us from the backyard.

It will be painful because he was the most pampered one.  He loved giving and getting hugs, and I'd give anything to hear him yowl during feeding time when he grew impatient, or when I needed to carry all 13kgs of him towards his eating spot, 'coz he was just that pampered.  Hence his nickname, Gabby Baby.

It will be painful because he was the only one who got Sookie's looks.  He was the only one, damn it.

It will be painful because he was the one whom I'd like to bring if ever I move out from my family house.  I'd always be missing something, my heart void of a little black furball.

And it will be all the more painful because we will never see him grow up.  We only had 6 months with him.

There were probably coincidental 'signs' that foreshadowed his demise.  There were 6 bowls to feed the pups, yet one broke.  It hurts now to think that I don't have to replace that broken bowl.  Mom also saw him nibbling on a bone alone like there was no tomorrow several hours before his death.  Turns out he really didn't have another day.  And within all the devastation of finding out that my baby is really dead, I had a dejavu when I saw my mom petting his lifeless body, crying, while his siblings and mom consoled us by licking us all over.  I dreamt about that exact scene before.  Who knew it would really happen.

When I fed him the day before, as I untied his chain, he placed his fore legs over my arm and laid his head on my chest.  He would usually do that, but it lasts until I get the chain off.  But even when I unchained him, he still wouldn't budge and I just let him hug me for another minute.  Maybe he knew that would be the last hug he'll ever give me.

It's been two days and I still can't believe he's gone forever.  Reality hits me when I round up the puppies, and only 5 comes to me.  And one is buried further ahead.  It aches real bad.

Gabby has left us devastated, 'coz we still have so much love to give him, but he just had to go.  But I truly believe that he is now in doggy heaven, where he can run all day long in the meadows, have bones anytime he wants, play in a pool and bask in the sun.  A place where there are no flees and no fireworks.  Just rainbows, sunshine and bones.  He might also truly become our guardian angel, as he was named after St. Gabriel.

But I still awfully miss him and would look over the horizon, wishing he would come running back home, lick my face and give me a big hug.

Rest in peace, baby.  When I call your other 5 siblings, I know you will be right there with them too.

You can never be replaced, or will ever be replaced.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

It's the year of the dragon so...

...I would like to wish all readers a HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

Still super busy with school/home/family/CNY related stuffs, so here's a fappable photo of yours truly for you, dear stalkers.

 May the Water Dragon bring us more moneh and happiness!

P/s: This is the only Chinese New Year related photo I can find for the purpose of this post, and not 'coz I narcistically find myself banging hot and that I just had to unnecessarily show it to you to fuel my vanity.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

One of The Benefits of Being a Teacher

As y'all know, people put a lot of expectations on teachers.  They expect teachers to solve every math problem, to know the meaning of all the words in the dictionary, to make every student score 20 As, to tame the wildest child, and to cure cancer.

This absolutely sucks, because no, we can't cure cancer nor do we necessarily know the meaning of the word 'fiduciary'.


Due to this insanely high expectations on teachers, we are put on a pedestal.

Meet a stranger, and tell them you're a teacher.  90% will go, "Oh wow, that's great", like you're a super hero or something.  But of course, they will not stop right there and will continue spewing crap like, 'And you work half day and have lots of holidays too, what a great job!"  And that's your cue to mentally strangle them.

Ok, back to happy thoughts on being put on a pedestal.  On the bright side, people tend to 'respect' teachers more as we are the 'moral compass' of society, and we are 'flawless' beings.  Note that I air quote those words.  So whatever bad things we do in the closet, say, smoke pot, watch child porn, or put kittens in vacuum bags, to outsiders, we 'look' like angels and we would never break the law.

Therefore, one of the benefits of being a teacher is getting away with the law.

Let me summarise my recent tale with them men in 'forms, Meme Style.

Click on picture to be directed to awesomer view

So next time you're about to be screwed by the traffic police/ police, just say you're a teacher. Or a nurse (I'm informed that they too get free passes, especially those in uniforms).

You will definitely be excused.  True story.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Why Dumb Kids Shouldn't Be Allowed To Use The Internet

I'm all for freedom of speech and daily ramblings on the Internet...

...but besides writing god awful blogposts punishable by smoking to death by Grammar Nazis...

...they know have infiltrated Youtube as a mean to profess their undying love for their sweethearts. AND MAKING IT PUBLIC for the whole netizen to see and be awed by their thoughtfulness and sweetness.Puke.

This is Dumb Kid Using The Internet Level 99.

Awww...I wish my boyfriend recorded a dumb video of him baby talking to me and letting the whole world know that he isn't the slight embarrassed eunuching himself  like that.

Excuse me as I scrap my eyes out and wash my ears with acid.

Kids, use the Internet wisely.  Google knowledge, upload videos of your cat, spend your homework time on 9gag.  But just. don't. do this.

P/s: Commentors have been really mean to this love sick Youtube abuser, saying stuff like, "destroy it before it lays eggs!", but some of them really sympathise her and chastise the person who uploaded this vid after she took down hers, because 'only the devil does this thing (the uploading)'. But apparently she doesn't care that the video is back on because she is like, totally in love with her boyfie and nothing else matters.  So, do you feel that she should be run down by a bulldozer, or does she deserve some credit for her stupidity courage?

Friday, January 13, 2012

I can't write awesome stuffs now 'coz...

...I'm slumped with work.

Preparing for next week's quickie Sport's Day.

Newspaper choice was unintentional, I promise.

I called it a 'quickie' because we were only given 5 days to prepare EVERYTHING from finding athletes to training them and completing paper works to dealing with the tedious, miscellaneous things that other teachers are assigned to do, but pretended to be buried in their own work to notice it, while having long drinks at the cafeteria.

And in between, I had to register new kids entering my class (THEY KEEP ON COMING DAMNIT! 45 students in a class is absurd!), give them their text books, prepare lessons, fill out data forms AND take ALL of my six labs to be neutered. Phew.  All this in 5 days.  I am da woman.

Hence, my once chic, straight out of a magazine room... looks like it came straight out of an angry tornado's anus.

So here's to hoping I survive my school's Sport's Day without losing my voice and my sanity and I will still be able to write awesome stuffs soon.

Have a great weekend people.

Now excuse me as I pick up whatever that is stinking my room as we speak.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

The First Week of Work: Of Sucky Things & The Event That Could've Killed Me

So for some schools, class started on the 4th of January, which is a Wednesday.

Starting your first day of work/school on a Wednesday is seriously odd.

Like, usually you will be full of vigour on your first day (which is usually a Monday).

But then it is NOT a Monday.  It's a Wednesday.

Registering that it is a Wednesday, you then think like a Wednesday.

Wednesday = Half way through the week =Can't wait for Friday = Woohoo!

Then you lost all vigour, and now the only thing you can think of is OMAIGOD I CAN'T WAIT FOR FRIDAY TO COME.

Hence that was exactly how I felt about my first day of work of 2012.

I know some of you teachers are pretty weirded out 'bout this fact too.

 My first week of work already sucked.

Sucky Thing #1

Not only that I was on I-can't-wait-for-Friday-to-come mode, I was disappointed when I wasn't given the class I was supposed to get.

I had an agreement with my boss.  I get the two last classes, but I get to teach the two best ones.  Which will keep me sane.  So it's a pretty fine deal to me.

But then I didn't get the Form 4 Science class.  Instead I got one of the last half last classes.

Now I have three weak classes, and one just okay (half failures) class. 

Motivation = 0

I know some teachers got worse - all weak classes, remove classes etc, and I have nothing to complain about my first world problem.

The thing is, I have prepared awesome lessons and activities for these kids who are able to comprehend English.  I have so much in store for them, and we're gonna have so much fun.

But I'm not so sure with my this class now :/

I know I should have more faith in them, but I'm just afraid I'm setting myself up for dissappointment.

Then again, I managed to pick myself up and got my self-affirmation on by the end of the day.

The road to awesomeness is paved with thorns one needs to thread.  Yes, you can quote me on that.

Sucky Thing #2

On the second day of work, it was announced that we have replacement class this Saturday.

The very first Saturday of apocalypstic 2012.

Luckily it's just the Cross Country thing we had to to before our Sport's Day starts in two weeks time. *holy god the abomination that is sport's week!*

But still, so uncool.

Sucky + Dangerous Thing #3

My 'ol manual '88 Pajero went FULLY AUTO on my way back home from work.

As I blared Super Heavy's Miracle Worker, something even louder came from my engine as I dropped gear to turn on a roundabout.  You know your music is loud when you can hardly listen to your voice as you sing along badly to it.  But my engine roared louder than that.

It felt like my car was gonna explode at the roundabout opposite the hospital.  Which was quite convenient had anything happened to me, if you think about it.

But I survived the roundabout without any epic explosion, and as I shifted to the fourth gear, the angry roar stopped.  However, as I lifted my right foot from the accelerator, hey what do you know, the car didn't slow down but kept moving at 60 kilometres per hour!


It could hardly slow down when I braked and once I reached the other roundabouts and dropped gear, (there were like four more roundabouts before reaching my home, WTF) it roared again like it was gonna cough me out from the car.

It went even crazier when I was reaching home, as it was a gravel road going uphill, and I was on the first gear.

Reaching my compound, the tyres screeched like bitches and the brakes couldn't get it to a complete halt.

I had to turn off the engine while it was still moving towards its future crash site.

So I eventually reached home safely. 

Holy fuck things could've gotten way worse.

Luckily I had a plethora of religious items in my car. 

A mechanic will soon call in to see what the devil went wrong.  'Coz there's no way that monster can be driven to the workshop.  And I just sent my car for an overhaul.  Thank God for the RM97 salary raise.

 So basically that's my first week of 2012.

I got a demotivating class, I have to work this Saturday and I could've died. 

Notice that I have positive thoughts at the end of every sucky event?  There might still be hope for sunshine for me.

So how's your first week of 2012?

Monday, January 2, 2012

10 Things to Achieve in 2012


Anyone still having a hang over? I'm swearing off alcohol...till my sweat stops reeking of scotch and don't gag looking at a Carlsberg poster.

Anyways, once again I'm doing the most cliche thing to be done on a new year.


Or to be more precise, things to achieve in 2012.

So here goes!

1. Drink eight glasses of water.

I think the cause of my acnes, eczemas, dragon skin and whatnots is because of lack of water.  And this is when I say to myself, "No shit, Sherlock!"  But it's just sooo hard to hit the eighth glass mark 'coz I don't drink water when I feel thirsty (like, why, right? And yes, I know that if you feel thirsty it means you're dehydrated.  So don't answer that), and secondly, I pee super frequent when I drink lots of water.  Like, every 15 minutes within an hour.  And it's annoying that I have to get my ass up and pull my pants down every 15 minutes.  BUT OKAY I WILL TRY TO DRINK 8 GLASSES OF WATER THIS YEAR. Ergh, I hate arguing with myself.

2. Eat fruits every day.

I now have at least a tiny portion of greens every time I eat, and now I'd like to have fruits every day.  It's not like I hate 'em.  It's just that if it's not in the fridge, then fine no problem, I will survive another day.  This year, if there ain't no fruits in the fridge, I will drag myself to the supermarket to buy some.  I promise.

3. Minimise bruises, scratches and mosquito bites.

 This is only the top

I admit I can be a klutz sometimes, and succumbing to the itches from mosquito bites is like reaching Nirvana.  Just blissful.  But then it leaves nasty scars on my legs.  Also, my dogs tend to stand on their two feet and paw me when they get excited. Within their soft padded furry paws are evil, eagle sharp talons.  Now my legs look like Kat Von D's tattoed legs.  Only ten times hideous.  I need to keep my nails short and always wear long pants when I'm with my adorable cerberuses.

4. Actually join my netball team.

I was elected as their manager, after the coach saw that I can't play shit.  They always ask me to join them for training though, in which I'm always reluctant to because I simply suck.  But since they are really cool people, I will support them even though they may never pass the ball to me, ever.

5. Make my English Language Society kick ass

 Something like this, but for an academic club

Since I was asked to helm the club without any warning early last year, I wasn't able to execute much of what I have planned in 5 minutes before the annual grand meeting.  So hopefully, my motivation and commitment will stay strong till we have our farewell end year partay.

6.  Less rage in class.

I know I'm an awesome, lovable teacher.  Like that nursery rhyme, when I'm nice, I'm really, really nice.  But when I'm bad, I'm Lucifer's abandoned child who knows not what love is.  So when faced with juvenile kids, I tend to grab them by the collar, throw their bags from the top floor, and rip their papers.  I need to be more of a poker faced mindfucker rather than a raging monster.

7. Travel to two countries.

I did it in 2011 and I wanna do it again this year! 

8. Climb Mount Kinabalu...again!

I almost died when I reached the peak last time in 2005.  But upon seeing the view, every suicidal step was worth it.  So I wanna scale one more time before I get old, fat, diseased and have kids.  Carol, wanna do it again? :D

9. Save enough money to buy a gizmo.

I particulary want this. 

Okay, I lied when I said expensive gadgets don't appeal to me.  Initially it didn't.  But then I had an epiphany when I had lunch with my friends at a restaurant.  The moment we sat down at our table, they whipped out their phones and started 'checking in'.  Total silence for about 5 minutes.  As for me, I whipped out my 'ol phone too, to get this - delete old messages, as to not look dumb and uncool staring into space, as everyone at the table bury their heads in their smartphones.  And this happens with every group of friends I hang out with.  So yeah, I need to get something cool to bring during group gatherings. No, something cooler, so that I can have a gadget-face-off and I'd win, hands motherfucking down.  Damn, I thought peer pressure only happens when we are a dumb teenager.

10. Complete/Continue 2011's resolution.

Like achieving baby butt's skin and going to the gym regularly.  And to continue becoming awesome and doing awesome things so that I can be an awesomer person this year.  And that's my number one resolution.  Of course, to have a heart of gold and a teleportation machine (eat that, techies).

So what's your number one 2012 resolution?