Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Should Borneo Celebrate The 31st August Independence Day?


...When we only gained independence 6 years later than Malaya?

Ok, I'm not trying to ruin this beautiful, historical day by being all politically correct and shit.

Well actually I am. 

Thanks to our marvellous, undisputably factually correct history books, we grew up believing that today, Malaysia is 54 years old.

ORLY?

Thanks to a handful of learned people out there, probably half of us now believe that this is not true.

Peninsular Malaysia has been independent since 1957.  So they have the right to celebrate it with truckloads of fireworks.

But Borneo was only truly free from the British ruling 6 years later, when Borneo, Malaya and Singapore formed Malaysia on September 16, 1963.


Or is it?  Somebody has to explain the date (31st August 1963) to me though.  Was it just to standardised the celebration?  Before the formation?  Anyone?

Back to the issue, do we Borneons celebrate independence day on August 31st or September 16th?

Supposedly, September 16th should be more a significant date to us Borneons, but do we really celebrate the historical day with much vigor as we do with August 31st?  We get a holiday, and most of us spend that day sleeping in.  Fireworks? Meh.  Zzz.

And only recently that our Prime Minister declares 16th September as a nationwide holiday, whereas for decades, it was only celebrated by us in the East.  That's kinda unfair for our West Malaysian counterparts, isn't it?  So thank you PM for acknowledging Malaysia Day.  Just don't ruin it by renaming it to 1Malaysia Day.  I WILL spend my day sleeping in if you do.

That being said, the politically correct age of Malaysia is 48 years old, not 54.

So is there any harm to wish Borneons a happy independence day, when they came 'late' 16 days?

I think not.  If Tunku Abdul Rahman didn't do his thang, Malaya wouldn't be independent and Malaysia wouldn't be formed (albeit 6 years late).  So the Merdeka celebration should be celebrated by Borneons too, and likewise, Malaysia Day should be celebrated by West Malaysians


In conclusion, to avoid misconception, I suggest we get educated, take our time to read these interesting articles, and open our eyes and mind.



We're still a young country, and we still have a long way to go. 

Happy 54th Independence Day y'all.


Sunday, August 28, 2011

Scammers Gonna Scam



I can finally quit my job, pay my life long debt to my father, buy a yacht, make a bonfire camp out 50 dollar bills and own me some slaves!


Thanks Mr Hilton! You can't be from the Hilton lineage, can you? JK!  Funny how your email is Yahoo HK.  But I'm pretty sure that's where you fly to for high tea.

Well, hey, what's this?  Another email...

FROM THE DESK OF MR GHANI NASSER.
MANAGER AUDIT&ACCOUNT DEPT,
BANK OF AFRICA OUGADOUGOU
BURKINA-FASO.

I am Mr.Ghani Nasser Manager Audit/Accounting Department BANK OF AFRICA( B.O.A ) Ougadougou Burkina-Faso, i would like to know if this proposal will be worth while for your acceptance.i have a Foreign Customer,Manfred Hoffman from Germany who was an Investor, Crude Oil Merchant and Federal Government Contractor, he was a victim with Concord Air Line, flight AF4590 killing 113 people crashed on 25 July 2000 near Paris leaving a closing balance of Nineteen
Million Three Hundred Thousand United States Dollars ($19.3m) in one of his Private US dollar Account that was been managed by me as his Customer's Account Officer.

Base on my security report, these funds can be claimed without any hitches as no one is aware of the funds and it's closing balance except me and the customer who is (Now Deceased) therefore, I can present you as the Next of Kin and we will work out the modalities for the claiming of the funds in
accordance with the law.

Now,if you are interested and really sure of your trustworthy,accountability and confidentiality on this transaction without dissapointment, contact me through my email for further details.i expect your letter.
our sharing ratio will be 50% for me and 40% for you.while 10% will be for the neccesary expenses that might occur along the line.
i expect your reply urgently.
N.B.In other for you to beleive my honesty try and go through this

(website)before you start with me.

Below is the website.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

sincerely
Mr Ghani Nasser.


I have a fukkin rich African kin?! DOUBLE RAINBOW! Now I can make bonfires out of 100 dollar bills!

Oh scammers, you always make my day.  Especially when my car breaks down and the mechanic tells me that my total repair bill is RM1384.

On a serious note, if plane crashes and generous dying CEOs don't tug on your heart strings, some cons use our little furry friends to do so. 


Before I got Sookie, I scoured the net for puppies.  Then I'd stumble into few 'amazing' deals, say, sellers who are not even selling their RM2K worth of pure-bred Siberian Huskey, but actually 'looking' for people to adopt them.

If you are puppy-hungry and you'll never have extra RM2K in your pocket to buy a pure breed, of course you'd jump on the 'opportunity'.

I was one of them just curious at the offer.  So I enquired.  Note that I found this seller on Mudah.my.  This was what them puppy-using con artists replied:

hello,

          thanks for your interest in my puppies,they are home trained,vet checked,registered,has good temperament with kids and other house hold pets,they are ten weeks old and my reason for giving them out is because,they belonged to my late daughter (Jennice)who just died in a motor accident two weeks ago and with this puppy around me make me thing of her all the time,so i was advice to give them out to caring and loving families that will take proper care of them for me,i am presently in Singapore for a pets program and really don't know when i will be coming back ,so if you really these puppies as stated,i will give them to you for free but will like to know somethings about you,

are you married?
do you have kids?
have you ever had a pet before?
are you a breeder?
what do you do for a living?
 
please note that,if you can't make it up to Singapore,we can still get the puppies over to your home with the help of a  pets delivery company ok and that will cost you 360(MRY) for one puppy,so if this is ok by you,then just get back to me with your full delivery data so that i can take them to the agency,have them registered for urgent delivery at your home,the delivery information's needed are,

your full names?
home address?
contact number?
postal code?
city?
state?
country?

as soon as i have all these details,i will take it to the agency for delivery at your home ok.

I was duped knew it was too good to be true.

Some are even beyond funny.


There is someone in small town, cinema-lacking, only-one-traffic light Keningau who actually sells an actual Akita!  WOW! I could go to his/her place right now!

Just for kicks, I enquired.  They gave me the same bullshit and questions.  Since they proclaim they are from Keningau, I told them I wanted to meet them like, at that moment.  Then came another beautifully written piece of shit:

Hello,
we are very happy you have promised to take proper care of the puppies,my wife and i have always wanted someone who can show much love for them and we are happy you have promised to take proper care of them.At the moment i am working as a stuck keeper in Thailand which i was just recently transferred .It has been so hard for me and my wife to stay home and take proper care of these puppies so i will arrange for the puppies to be Delivered to your home,my wife has once delivered a kitten to her parents and she knows much about the delivery procedure.She has promised to get either the male or female registered for Home delivery. I informed her that you have promised to take proper care of the puppies,and she was really happy about that.The delivery fee for the puppies including the puppies is 350MYR.The following is needed from you to get the baby registered.

Of course they are not in Keningau at the moment! 

So yeah, as much as the Internet contains douchebags who wouldn't hurt a fly, there are more people who are actual douchebags but pretend to be your fairy godmother.

Moral of the story is, please be careful with these scammers.  I'm sure there are lots of other tactics besides those above.  Once, my aunt received an e-mail from 'Hong Leong Bank' to verify her account or password or something, and to do it, she has to click on the link.  Within a day, they emptied her account.  When she went to the bank to ask where the hell all her money went, she was given a slip stating her account money usage.  Apparently, she 'reloaded' her phone RM100 for like, 10 times in a row.  True story.

So now we have inheritance scammers, lottery scammers, puppy scammers, bank scammers and love scammers.  Am I missing anything out?

By the way, I think puppy scammers are just mean. :(

Friday, August 26, 2011

HOLIDAY!


I have to think that holidays are the best tool for uniting people.

The Muslims are ecstatic with their coming celebration, and the non-Muslims are equally pumped for the holidays too.  Then there's the generous food galore. 

So, moral of the story is, we should have more holidays for a better Malaysia.


Selamat Hari Raya and happy holidays y'all!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Puppy updates!


Can you spot a puppy in this photo?


No? Here's a closer look.


Now everyone say, "AWW..."!

It seems like every other post in this blog is updates about my puppies.

But you know you want some :D

They are now 5 weeks old! They just can't get any cuter than you previously read about.

And they run!


And play!


First, about Mikey.  His wound has closed up entirely! He's a miracle!


And none the less mischievious.


Now that they are all getting bigger, they pee more too.  No matter how often we changed the newspaper bedding, they'd be soaking wet in a matter of hours.  So we decided to remove the newspapers completely.  Which left their legs practically dangling.


After enjoying this little cute tragedy, we decided to make them a bigger pen.  As they really get bigger day by day.  You can virtually see them grow everyday.  Exhibit A:


5 days later, same feeding plate:


So here's their new pen:


With Sookie trying to eat their food as well.

At first they weren't too happy 'bout the enclosure.  They'd cry and scratch the wall when they hear humans around to let them out. 


But soon they got used to it.  Especially with all the toys inside.

Here's a regular day at their pen:

And when we do let them out, you'll see an array of behaviours as this is their period of learning things about themselves and the world.

They quickly developed love for slippers.


Even find comfort in sleeping next/on it.


They soon knew how to live in a harsh environment.

O hai

And found their favourite thing to destroy (my mom's plants) spot.


I have to give them puppy pedicures too from time to time as their claws grow really fast (and incredibly sharp too!)

I'm not complaining though.  They just grow incredibly cute in days.


Choky even knows how to give me a hickey! My boyfriend's never gonna believe it's a hickey from a puppy.


And they start socialising with the other dogs too.  Bubut is the most anti-social dog.  He'd growl and threaten to bite them even when they just walk by him.  Guess he's just showing his alpha maleness.  The twins a.k.a. the baby daddies, are pretty cool towards them.  As for Ting Ting, at first she was terrified of these 8 little blobs crawling toward her.  Now, she's having a blast with them for finally having creatures smaller than her to play with.


Speaking of the twins, one of them impregnated the next door bitch, about the same time Sookie got pregnant.


Resulting a pair of twins next door, which look a Xerox copy of them - a.k.a. the puppies' cousins.


I'm starting to think we're getting a little bit irresponsible here...

But who cares when you have balls of cuteness rolling around your lawn!


Before I end my post, blue-eyed Raphael says hi!


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

"Malaysia to bring in 300 English teachers from US next year: DPM"


PHWOAR!

This HAS to be the brighest idea that our Education Minister can think of. 

The PPSMI policy introduced in 2003 was too debatable. 

The MBMMBI policy introduced in 2009 was...what is that thingamajig again?

And now, 3 years later, the big guys upstairs decided that Americans teaching our kids is THE cure for the English language illiteracy in Malaysia.

The programme will be implemented in 2012...  

But wait, I thought the MBMMBI will start in 2012? So...

...involving almost RM18 million in terms of cost.

Hm, I guess it's just a fraction of the cost of Datin Rosmah's bling.  No biggie. 

English language experts would be assigned to schools categorised in Bands 6 and 7. 
 
I guess white guys would be waaay better than our English language professors.  Not because we're still colonised mentally thinking that the whites are more superior than us, especially language wise.

The programme had three objectives namely to provide technical assistance, to assist people outside the US to understand the American culture, and to assist the Americans to understand the culture on the other nations.

Well I guess that's a good intention.  But I thought the Western culture is 'evil'?  I wonder who told me that.

Meanwhile, Muhyiddin said the ministry was considering the possibility of having extra classes for English language after school hours to strengthen thestudents' command of the language.

I'd say pay us more, or just don't, don't let the kids advance to the next form if they fail the subject.

Okay, forget my acidic remarks.  Here's the pros and cons of the programme that I could think of:

Pros:
We could learn a thing or two from our American counterparts.  Learning second languages there is all the rage. 

Kids might actually learn something as they are forced to communicate in English as their 'new teachers' won't understand their native language.  This was what my parents had gone through when they were in mission school, being taught by mat salleh priests and nuns.  And their command in the language is good, if not perfect.

Cons:
English-teaching fresh graduates worry they'd be jobless as their one and only post that they can do is taken up by foreigners.
 
Current English teachers might feel that the Ministry has given up on them, doubting their abilities to teach.  Hence causing dejection and demotivation in teaching.

Kids might be demotivated learning as they fear of being ridiculed as they just can't respond to their American teacher.

Even if they do learn something, we'd be producing kids speaking in American accent with the rolling of the 'r's and the changing of the British English writing system e.g.  tyre becomes tire.  When for generations since the Brits left us to our own devices, we tried so hard to speak like them with our very own Malaysian flair.
 
I know our Ministry means well.  But policies shouldn't be changed as often as a woman's menstrual cycle (was that blantantly sexist?).  They come up with super genius implementation, but they don't give it time to even just simmer.

Let's just hope that these Americans would be the answer to our life long problem of English language illiteracy (but it wasn't so bad during my parents' time when every subject was in English till they changed the policy - just saying), that fresh graduates will still get their jobs and that current English teachers would feel relieved for the help rather than disgruntled.

Or else we're gonna get a lot of this:


Saturday, August 13, 2011

Teaching Kids About Bonking


This is one of the poems that Form 4 students have to learn:

He Had Such Quiet Eyes by Bibsy Soenharjo

He had such quiet eyes
She did not realise
They were two pools of lies
Layered with thinnest ice
To her, those quiet eyes
Were breathing desolate sighs
Imploring her to be nice
And to render him paradise.

If only she’d been wise
And had listened to the advice
Never to compromise
With pleasure-seeking guys
She’d be free from “the hows and whys” .

Now here’s a bit of advice
Be sure that nice really means nice
Then you’ll never be losing at dice
Though you may lose your heart once or twice.

It's basically about a girl who got duped by a sweet talking asshole who just wanted to bonk her.  And swindle her moolahs while he's at it too.

Well that's just how I explain it to the kids.  No need beating around the bush, nor being all prudish about it.  Plus, it stucks in their heads like glue.

So this is what I got from their last test:



But then again, is my teaching even legal?

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Sookie's Puppies: 3 Weeks Later


So you must be wondering how Mikey has been doing and how cute the other pups got. 

No? Whatevs.  You know you want to.

Anyways. Let's talk about Michaelangelo first.

He's sooo much better now!

We got some dry dressing powder from the vet, which contains medicinal value to help heal his wound.  However, the powder being harmful to Sookie if she licks it off from Mikey too often, we decided to put him under an ICU watch.  We had to separate him from his siblings in fear of infection and we let him sleep upstairs with us for us to keep watch - in case he wakes up in the middle of the night searching for milk.


He even had his own teddy to keep him company/warm.


So far, his wound is healing quite nicely.


As I've mentioned before, there were three holes on the surface of his skin but underneath those holes is one huge hole. The skin connecting the holes had died so after cleaning it up, what was left was a huge, deep hole.  But day by day, his tissue started growing filling the hole, and now it just looked like serious scraped skin.

When we compared him with the other puppies, he is comparatively smaller.


So we started giving him solid food in mush so that he'd catch up with the other puppies growth.


So hopefully, he'll grow into a healthy, happy puppy soon, not that he's any less active.  In fact, he's the most active among the rest.  While the other pups sleep on the grass, he'd be sniffing and wondering around like the back yard is his oyster.  And he's getting a bit spunky lately, and showing early signs of dominance among his bigger siblings - he growls! Aaaa...

 Mikey staring into your soul to let him out to play

As for the rest of the puppies, they're getting so much bigger and twice the cuter!


They even start play biting with each other already.


And so much stronger now that we can do this to them:


 We also start feeding them solid mush too, and we let them off on the grass (to enjoy the sniffing galore and poop).  Their cuteness is beyond words, so here's some photos in all their cuteness glory.

 Feeding time!

Feeding frenzy

*DIE!*

Can you handle this? I thought so.

She passed out licking the remains.

They all did one by one.

And so we put them back in their pen.

Later, they'd still suck Sookie dry.


In which they're getting too big for ALL eight of them to teat at once.

Here's a couple of videos of them for you to further squeal on:



Meanwhile, on the other side of the yard, somebody's getting busy.


Ting Ting's on heat and now the most ignored dog has become the most wanted.  And she hates it.  They'd go into that little cage of hers if they have too.

Hence the life of my dogs and I.


Which makes all the problems in school seem so far away :D