Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Demotivated Much


The title pretty much sums what I'm feeling right now.

Before I drag you into my negativity, I have to tell you that this is a teaching-related post.  So nothing wicked for you readers in need of wicked entertainment.  Just how wickedly dumb and lazy my kids are.

Yes, sue me for calling my kids dumb. DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB. DUUUUUMB.

Not because they can't understand/read a single word of English.  

But because they are sent to school, given pocket money, and blessed with the best, young, hip, dedicated teacher (or so I've been told) - and they took that for granted.  They are frickin' illiterates for Ghandi's sake.  Why won't they just make use of that opportunity?  When kids in Africa are dying to get an education? (pun intended)

And that makes them so dumb I could shoot my legs multiple times and they'd still be drifting away in their own world, just coasting along till the last day of school.

And in typical Malaysian fashion, who is to blame?  Their parents?  The system? Themselves? Me?

I'm out of my wits already.


I'm currently teaching my at-risk kids how to read, like they've never been to primary school.  Even if I have to spend time with each individual kid, pointing at each word and teach him or her how to pronounce it.  For all the 50 goddamn English words.  That's how dedicated I am.

I even promise them to treat them at KFC if all of them manage to improve their next test marks, even if they still fail, even if it is just a 1% increase.

They could at least meet me halfway.

Not all of them are lazy dumb though.  In fact, most of them, especially the alpha males (the boys who always try to get your attention by making lots of noise and say the most inappropriate things e.g. calling me 'darling') are the ones who are psyched with this reading project.  And that makes me feel like a hero.

Then a complete zero when I come to these few quiet kids who just don't give a damn.  Yes, I'd take foul-mouthed, rambunctious kids who give a damn rather than the silent, no-fuck-giving kids any time of the day.

I've demerited them like a hundred times till they are eligible to go for the next Hell Camp, and I've kicked them out of the class like for two weeks now.  But what kind of educator I am if I deny their lazy ass of an education for the whole year or two?

So yeah, I'm out of brilliant ideas already. 

So please, enlighten me - I know most teachers are reading this - how do you handle demotivated kids?

Friday, June 24, 2011

SOOKIE IS PREGNANT!


My lab, Sookie.  Not the blonde waitress that everyone wants to sleep with.

But she's the bitch that every stud wants to mount.

And now she's pregnant!  Well, I have been speculating these past few weeks, didn't think she would get knocked up the first time, but now it's really showing.  I just thought she was uh, pudgy.

It feels only like yesterday when I brought this cute lil ball of energy home.


And it also feels only like yesterday that the guys were sniffing her butt 24/7 since she became part of the family.


And now she has a bun in her oven - no, BUNS!


WE'RE GONNA HAVE PUPPIES! *SQUEEEEEEAAALLL*

Since she had her period a.k.a. on heat, the guys went out of their minds!  All they could think of was mounting her.  They even skipped eating for days and wait for her forlornly as she ate in her cage, completely oblivious of their lust - ready to jump on her the minute she gets out.   Bubut, being the alpha male, would not let Sookie out of his sight, as if telling the others "Sookie is miiine!"  The twins on the other hand were at each other's throat most of the time till my parents almost thought of giving them up for adoption, but decided that no one would want them with their ugly scarred faces.

So who's the babydaddy?


Toby.  By the way, he's a Doberman Lab mix. 


Leaving Bubut absolutely sexually frustrated for his 'shortcoming'.  But he's over it now.  Till the next heat.

Now Sookie's heavily (I should say) pregnant, she's more sedated than her usual bouncing off the wall self.



And that gives more chance for Ting Ting to play bite with her, rather than get choked most of the time by Sookie.


It feels only like yesterday when I brought her  home 7 months ago, when she was just 3 months old.  Wait.  That makes her 10 months now.  And pregnant.  I blame MTV for the rise of teen pregnancy.

Anyways.  She'll always be my lil puppy, knocked up or not.


AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE PUPPIES! LET THE CUTENESS RAIN!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Cure For Crime: Hot Police Officers


Yup.  That's what The Malaysian Royal Police is suggesting.

Upon reading the news, I just feel like nothing is impossible in our country, ya know?

KUALA LUMPUR: The Royal Malaysian Police is now making it a point to station good-looking, smart and personable police officers at all frontline positions to present a more friendly and accessible image to the public.

 I guess those current ugly ass cops scare the hell out of the citizens.

“We want the public to feel our friendliness, so it isn’t just about placing those with good-looking faces or having a nice body out there. It is about mannerisms and personality, too. They must be good-natured,” he said.

 I see. So it's pretty much something like this then, "Get those pecs/boobs implants done by Monday! And oh, don't forget to be nice.  But seriously, just do something 'bout yo' flat chest.  The citizens will think we're unfriendly."

“Of course, we can’t do it for every (frontline) position, everywhere, that is impossible. But we hope to do our best as we feel this is what the public wants. Of course, not all can, or must, be good-looking, but it is a plus factor.”

"You -- Are those ass real?  Whatevs.  You're in the frontline now.  And you -- are those lady 'stache? Gross.  You now serve coffee for Kim Kardashian here." 

According to the writer of this piece of news, she thought that "perhaps our police force is taking a page out of a new strategy book undertaken by the Indonesian police force to burnish its image in the eyes of the public."

Apparently, the policewomen in Indonesia dressed in smart uniforms, wear 'flawless' makeup and hairdos.  To report the nation's daily traffic.  Flight attendants' got nothin' on these crime-busting gals!

“I hope the public sees this as an indication of us trying to be better.
Of course, academic qualifications alone is not enough. We want our people to have the right skills and values, like integrity and responsibility. “More importantly, they must have courage — academic qualifications alone won’t see them through when they are face to face with hardened criminals.”

BUT THEY MUST LOOK LIKE SUPER MODELS!  BETTER YET, SCOUR MODELING AGENCIES! I'm sure they're trainable.

Ok, 'nuff with the jokes.  I do think that the IGP meant well (so please don't sue me - I help you, you help me la).  But could this report be 'twisted' a 'lil?  I mean, I'm sure he meant that the police force should be more 'smartly dressed' rather than have faces like Adonis and Aphrodite.  C'mon, he doesn't think we're THAT superficial, right?  We want to be safe.  Send a Ralph Lauren model or an ogre - whatever! Just keep us safe will ya.

And what if other professions decided to follow suit?  Every job ad would go -"Good looks prioritised".  How could somebody judge a pretty face by the way?  Oh I know, just borrow a beauty pagent rubrics.


So people, are hotter men and women in the police force necessary?

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Time Restricted = Crappy Vs Time Freedom = 101%


Work ethics.

What are work ethics?  What are the work ethics that you abide? What are the work ethics that you are forced to abide?  And what are the work ethics that you ignore, break or work yourself around it? 

I remember reading one article by Zewt (though I can't track back what article is that already) that one company in Singapore requires their employees to deliver their best, and I mean their god damn best.  That's gotta be stressful and a lot of pressure, right?  Well, here's the upside: their employees are not bounded by the traditional working hour of 9-5.  They don't have to punch in at exactly 7.59 a.m., and punch out at 5 p.m.  They can come and go as they like, have their break as many times as possible - as long as they do an excellent job.  Seems incredulous, right? Or was the writer being just hypothetical? Yeah, my memory's pretty hazy these days.

BUT.  Even if it's hypothetical, which working environment would you wanna be in?  The above, or, our real life time restricted 9-5 job?

Let's take a teacher's work ethics for example.  (yeah, 'coz that's the only job I can relate to in this world)

We are required to punch in and out at a fixed time.  Later (when going to work) and earlier (when going back) than the required time would seek the wrath of the principal/headmaster.  'Coz it shows that we're 'irresponsible'.

Really?

What if I'm doing a hell of a job teaching my kids?  What if I have never missed a class and always punctual?  What if I'm busting my ass figuring innovative and creative ways to teach incorrigible teenagers?  What if I can improve the school's overall achievement?  What if I have done all my required tedious jobs like writing my lesson plans, taking students' attendance, marking papers, keying in marks, updating my files and so on?

What if I have done all of these things before the last bell rings?  And I decided to go home early?

Would that make me a bad teacher?

Or would they prefer me to sit back, and hang out in the staffroom, spend the next free hours gossiping about who slept with who and who inject her face with what, or flipped through tattered catalogues that I've seen a gazillion time?

When I can go back home and start planning my lessons for the next day? (of course, after surfing the net, cut my nails, squeeze a zit, play with my dogs and watch a serie or two of The Vampire Diaries)

Okay, so you may ask, "Why don't you just spend your free time in school planning lessons?"  Well, for one, my workbooks are all at home.  I'm probably THE ONLY teacher who has NO academic/workbooks on her table.  (Teachers out there who are like me, do let me know you exist!).  And secondly, there's no Internet access in my school.  And we're like, the top 3 school in town yet we don't have Internet.  How am I suppose to plan kick ass lessons without the Internet and my books (but the Internet mostly)?

So yeah, I'm guessing you already know where I'm going and that I'm becoming like 'the others',  but what is so wrong with that when you are always doing the right thing?  For me, there's no reason to judge those teachers who go out for breakfast or to wash their car during free periods - as long as they are doing an excellent job teaching the children.

I'm trying not to make this a habit though, but if I really do think I can use my time more wisely at home (for the kids), I'd do it.  So sue me for not wanting to waste time and be more productive.


Now people, would you rather have a time restricted working hour, yet excusable when doing a crappy job, or a free working hour but required to give a 101% with no excuse?

Sunday, June 12, 2011

10 Sharing Sites To Be 'Banned' by The Malaysian Government


I was floored when I read this recent headline:

"No more free downloads as MCMC blocks 10 file sharing sites"

Apparently, a 'war' on piracy has been 'declared' in Malaysia. Note the air quotes.

Then there was a list of the sites that have been/will be hijacked.

These are the precious sites

1. http://www.warez-bb.org/ 

2. http://thepiratebay.org/ 

3. http://www.movie2k.to/

4. http://megavideo.com/

5. http://www.putlocker.com/

6. http://depositfiles.com/en/

7. http://duckload.com

8. http://fileserve.com/

9. http://www.filestube.com/

10. http://megaupload.com/

 I thank all the gods worshipped in this world, including Tom Cruise for sparing EZTV.

"The unauthorised use of copyright work is destroying the industry." I believe this is true people.  Let's see the impact.

Angelina Jolie won't be able to enjoy her daily caviar dish.  Lady Gaga won't be able to afford to pay the butcher for her meat outfit.  The Glee kids won't be able to afford to go for their Glee Tour.  And Justin Bieber has to go back to school.  Public school.

Unspeakable terror of 'normal life' would reign upon the celebrities all over the world.

Then people would be forced to buy only local artists' albums and watch those cliche scripted/story line local movies - 'coz these are the only entertainment they could afford.  Not to say that ALL of them are bad though.

Huh.  Now I see it.

But it's not the end of the world people. 

We have the geeks to save the day.  They'll find a loophole to satisfy your sharing needs.

Befriend a geek today!

Photosource

Thursday, June 9, 2011

What's Ticking Me


Ticks. Pun intended.

Tick/flea shampoo, injection, drip don't seem to work on my dogs.

I guess it can't be helped that they have acres of free grassy space to play around.

They also like to hump mingle with the neighbours' dogs.

Picking the ticks one by one is an even losing battle.  C'mon, they've been around since the dinosaurs.  What are humans to them?

So I've been doing some research about those damn dog ticks.  And here's what I found out:

  • Those nasties on your dog's neck, ears, legs and between the toes are yes, ticks. 
  • The bitch tick can lay a motherlode of 5000 eggs in her lifetime.  They won't ever fucking extinct, no siree.
  • A tick would kick back, relax and complete its entire life cycle in YOUR house.
  • Then only it would find a dog as a new host for its nasty orgy.
  • Ticks crawl, but they can't fly since they have no wings.  Thank God their evolution stopped right there and then.
  • They have their very own thermal goggles called 'Haller's organ' that sense odor, heat and humidity.  That's how they locate their food.  
  • They're pretty sneaky.  They once again kick back and relax this time on tall grass, and latch on our dogs when they come near.
  • The male tick is small and flat.
  • The female is a greyish fat bitch, the size of a pea.  Now we know who wears the pants.
 
  • As you can see, they are fucking gross.
  • After sucking the life of your pup, it swells up to the size of a small bean.
  • Then it mindlessly drops off to complete the rest of its cycle.
  • When it sucks blood, it literally buries its head INTO the skin.  Fucking gross.
  • I would like to reiterate that ticks are fucking gross.

You can get more information from here.

Ways to kill 'em?

The best answer I can get from all over the internet: Pull the motherfucker out using a tweezer.

But what about the other 53470 ticks huh?

And that is why I'm absolutely ticked.

I heard kerosene and tobacco ash would do the trick to kill and prevent them.  Have you heard of this before?  What is your method of getting rid of ticks?

Help me pwease?

Monday, June 6, 2011

"So when are you getting married?"


...IS THE MOST OVERASKED QUESTION OF THE CENTURY!

I know you're feeling me, single ladies.

If I had a penny for every time I was asked that question, I'd actually be able to fund a royal wedding of my own. Heck, I could even do it tomorrow.

But seriously.

The day I started first day of work, I was already asked that question.  A few times.  By different people.  Then again by the same people.  Busybody much?

Then I thought it would end there.  Like, what I answered you is the only answer I have.  My answer won't change the following week.  Or the week after.  You don't have to check up on me!

Some say it's concern. 

Concern that I would die an old maid.
Concern that I won't be able to produce eggs (ew).
Concern that I would have a Down Syndrome child.
Concern that my arthritis would prevent me from attending my kid's graduation.

And then some say it's worry.

Worry that I, as a hot single piece of ass would garner their husband's attention.

Really people.

Maybe I'm not like most girls.

I don't have a dream wedding that  I have dreamed of since I was seven.
I don't want to settle down right after school/college.
I don't give in to societal pressure that women should get married and be a mother ASAP.
Marriage creeps me out.
Babies creep me out more (the part where it comes out from your vagina - GAH!).  See, I even refer a baby as an 'it' - not a good sign.
And I'm not afraid of marrying an old maid ('coz I know I'd still look fantastic), or even not marrying at all.  Hey, there's always Plan B in life, right? (read adopt a few kids when financially stable, travel the world, and have the occasional rendezvous like Samantha Jones.

So there you go.  The reasons I'm not hitched yet.

I'm 25, I just finished studying for 6 years, I just started my job - heck, real life is just starting for me.  Why do I need to mess it up with complicated things like marriage?

Note that I'm not condemning marriage, or my friends who just got married.  I am a girl after all, and I do wanna get married someday. 

But not now.  I still feel like a kid.  I feel like I hadn't aged a day since I turned 18.  And I'm sure most of you still feel the same.  And that's why we're awesome.

And we just got through that gruelling Month of Marriage where the pressure is so on that you feel like you should have just worn a fake ring and wave it to those curious faces before they could ask you that annoying question.

Some weddings get rigged too in hopes that you'd be next.  Read Bouquet Toss.


The flowers were wonderful by the way, Carol.

But a wise man did say, "Every time a person asks you when you are getting married, it is a form of blessing."

So for those frequent askers, thanks for y'all's blessings.

And don't worry too much 'bout me and my ovaries - we're gonna be just fine.

Friday, June 3, 2011

SAY HELLO TO MY NEW RIDE!


Remember how depressed I was when I had a relevation about owning sport cars?

Well I got over it.

'Coz I'm now the proud owner of a monster of a car.


Never in my wildest dream that my first car would be an '88 Mitsubishi Pajero.


Works for me though.

I don't have to drive carefully anymore.

LIKE A BOSS!