Have you ever wondered how old your body actually is?
Not the like-duh-just-look-at-my-birth-cert-fool old, but rather the how-much-shit-you-put-your-body-through-or-the-lack-of old.
'Coz there will be a few moments in life when people always guess your age wrongly, or get admiringly shocked when they find out that you look younger than you do, and secretly shocked and cover their tactlessness when they find out that you are older.
People would think you're an old fart when you're still practically staining your pants, and vice versa.
And that's really annoying, right? Or flattering. Whichever you like.
As for me people would guess almost right. In the twenties they'd say. Or they're just too cowardly to say outloud what they think. But in school I do get mistaken as a student when I'm wearing sports attire -from my cute behind. Well it's actually from my short hair. And yeah, they'd just shove me around in a sea of students. Till I open my mouth.
So this website intrigued me. It's a Real Age Test site where you can check whether you are older or younger than your chronological age.
The questions revolve from your smoke and alcohol intake, meat and vegetables consunption, exposure to the sun and exercise, how much sleep you get, how often you poop, how stress and happy you are and uh, whether you get fireworks in 'bed' or you were just faking it all the time.
You may have come across these kind of tests before, but I think it's quite valid and even if it's not, it's just something to kill some time (when you oughta be doing something more important but you just need to procrastinate, you procratinator).
So, how did I do in my Real Age Test? Well, I was a bit nervous as I am not exactly 'clean' inside. I'm a carnivor who only eats a piece of vegetable leaf in my diet just to 'meet the requirements', only drink water when I'm parched and my bowel movements aren't quite doctor-approved. In short, I'm a dirty, dirty whore inside. And need to be detoxed, pronto. But let me finish my rib-eyed steak downed with ice cold beer first aight.
To my surprise (and delight), the site decided that I'm 7 years younger! Woohoo! Now I just have to add one year and tell people to wish me a happy 19th birthday instead of 18th like I always did since I turned alcohol and club legal.
So go surprise yourself. But if you are one who abuse your body much (alcohol, smoke, overeating), don't be surprised to know that you are a century older.
For those who are younger, congrats! Though you may need to slap on more makeup so that people would take you seriously. And for those who are old farts...yeaah...I have nothing.