Some people grow up wanting to be a teacher. All they want to do is teach.
But nobody told them that they also have to be a/an:
coach, facilitator, writer, editor, artist, model, singer, dancer, actor, producer, police, engineer, janitor, referee, emcee, accountant, secretary, manager, caretaker, judge, jury, driver, president, paramedic, clerk, auditor, director, consultant, administrator, analyst, assistant, designer, lecturer, architect, receptionist, technician, electrician, programmer, supervisor, social worker, estimator, researcher, chairperson, counsellor, shrink, therapist and trainer.
It was in the agreement when they signed their soul away. It was in the finest print, only the devil can read with super power charged glasses.
Last year, I became the emcee for the school's annual dinner.
I only emceed once in my lifetime - which was for my course's theater night in university. It was to be done in an informal style, attended by my juniors and students and in English (duh).
The dinner was to be done in a formal style, attended by big guns of the education people and in the Malay Language. The people who assigned me really didn't what they got themselves into.
Apart from my false eyelash kept falling off like a nuisance that night, I had invited the guests to eat when there were no food served yet as I read my script blindly, and pronounced the name of our VVIP guest, the big boss of all the big bosses of all schools in Keningau, Encik Raisin, as a certain name of a dried fruit. It was indeed a face palm moment. I would've wrecked the whole event into smithereens had not my partner covered most of my lines.
So yeah, you really don't want me to be your host for any event. Unless a mess is what your aiming for.
Then recently I was assigned to become the emcee for the district level football match. What I felt at that moment was a tiny heart attack, I believe. Was I supposed to speak like a football commentator, running my words in half a breath and shouting "Goooal!" in the end? Are you fucking kidding me?
Good thing I had a meeting in SMK Sook about the debate competition (will go to that in a moment). I was then reduced to become just a registrant. Thank you SMK Sook.
But now I'm a debate team manager and trainer. I have to manage my debate team and train them as well. FYI, as highly opinionated as I am, I never joined debate as debate competitions scare the bejezuz out of me. I would've snap and break down and cry, or snap and slap the mouthy, stubborn bitch debater.
So it's the blind leading the blind. You might as hand us our consolation prize already.
And next week (or was it the week after next?), I'm the 'physiotherapist' for the district level sports competition.
A physiotherapist. For real?
Like seriously. Being a teacher - Jack of all trades much?
So youngsters out there, if your ambition is to be a teacher, think again.