Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Difference Between Teaching Practice And The Real World


Teaching practice daily lesson plans:



The real world daily lesson plans:



The real world ain't so bad aye?

Friday, July 23, 2010

Pros and Cons Teaching in Your Own Hometown


Yes people, I'll be teaching in my very own town.

In order to protect the school's privacy in case I bitch the hell out of it when I have a bad day, let's just call it SMK K2.


I don't know whether it is fate, or is it my slight meddling with it.

But it doesn't matter 'coz I'm here already.

So maybe I don't get to venture out into the wild and live independently on my own.

But it's okay. I've been away from home for six years. Maybe it really is time for me to go home.

Though a little part of me kinda want to go to impossiblely remote places and go all Bear Grylls out there, I am nevertheless grateful 'coz people are virtually dying to be where I am now.

So I went to my school already and met my boss (damn, I feel so like a grownup!) and talked to the teachers there.

And this is what I'm able to sum up, the pros and cons of teaching in K2 and in my hometown:

PROS

  1. My boss seems nice and he knows my parents.
  2. There are a few of my ex teachers there!
  3. No serious discipline problems. I quote the disciplinary teacher, "The baddest kid here is the nicest kid in SM X." I was from SM X and I rather pay the Rm110k bond to quit the government had I gotten that school. That bad.
  4. The teachers are super friendly.
  5. I'm teaching in my hometown, a small community where everyone knows each other.
  6. My mom will send me to school and my brother will fetch me from school everyday. I feel like a kid again, but at least I can save on transport.
  7. My mom's gonna cook for me everyday.
  8. I could give tuition and earn more moolahs.
  9. I could save money on rent and car. And food and groceries and toiletries and internet bills.
  10. I get to live an easy life.
CONS
  1. My boss seems nice and HE KNOWS MY PARENTS!
  2. There are a few of my ex teachers there. OH NOES!
  3. Most students are linguistically retarded. The kind that don't even know what 'paper' is.
  4. So my boss put me up on a pedestal and expects to see better PMR results.
  5. I'm teaching in my hometown, a small community WHERE EVERYONE KNOWS EACH OTHER.
  6. I am eventually going to grow up and pay for petrol and probably get my own car.
  7. I'll never learn how to cook.
  8. I will have no life when I start giving tuition.
  9. My parents are not gonna let me off so easy. It's either RM800 per month or yearly travel expense. But most probably both.
  10. I will never know the meaning of hardship.
So there.

To those who are like me, count your blessings. No matter how hard you have it in school and no matter how much you want to run down the principal with your brand new Viva, you have your family waiting for you at home. Though they are fucking sick to listen to you whine everyday, they would still be there for you.

And to my friends who are banished to god forsaken grounds, cheer up 'coz what you'll gain would be EPIC. You'll get life experiences that no one who is still living with their parents get to get and that will make you LEGENDARY - unlike us losers who still put stuffs at the cashier and run away so that our father would pay for it unsuspectingly.

Above all, it's going to be one hell of a roller coaster ride this year.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Goodbye student hello teacher


This week's it.

I will finally know where Fate's gonna send me.

And no, I didn't tamper with it, no cables. Except for time when my mom made me go to the PPD to ask for a place in my hometown.

Or if she secretly went behind my back and begged every school principal in every school in Keningau to write a recommending letter.

I'll be attending a two day briefing, and on the third day, they'll bring us to our school, wherever in hell it will be.

So basically it's like a reality show, where the contestants have absolutely no idea what their next challenge or destination will be. Minus the cameras and million dollar prize.

There should be paramedics 'coz I'm sure there will be cardiac arrests.

Anyways.

Yes, I am terrified.

Maybe not so much as when I was going for my teaching practice when I had ZERO teaching experience, but this is equally, probably more insane.

'Coz I'm not going to be in school for JUST three months.

After three months, the students are still gonna be my problem and I can't just hand them with snot on their noses to their previous teacher.

And if you wanna talk about experience, I do have some. But not for the school that I'll be sent.

See, I had it easy during my teaching practice. I taught girls and it was easier to bond with them. Plus I got really bright kids. Quote from one of the teachers there, "Our last class is the other schools' first class."

So yeah, I don't know how to handle boys and dumb as shit weak linguistically challenged students.

I'd have to up my awesomeness I guess.

Oh well.

People, pray I won't kill a kid.

Student...PLAY!


Teacher...WORK!

FML.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Cotton Balls


Have you ever seen cotton balls?

Not the ones you use to swab your wound or your face.

Literal, cottony testicles.

Cute and disgusting at the same time. But most of the time cute.

Before you go "AACK!", meet the owner of balls made of cotton.


See, not so gross after all, huh?


Don't you just feel like touching it and feel how soft they are?! And perhaps swab your wound or your face with it?! Okay, maybe not the latter.

You'd think this pup's name is Cotton Balls. I'd name him so had I realised he has cotton puffs for his balls.

But I knew what to call him when I first saw this photo of him:


People, meet my dog BUTET!


*Butet is the sago worm called by Sabahans. I'd google and post pics of it if I know I wouldn't have nightmares about it. Yes, peeps, caterpillars and fat worms freaks the hell out of me.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Recap


In a week's time I'm going to school already.

Not as a student, but as a teacher.

I'm still getting around the idea of that.

I seriously don't believe it is happening already.

Like, what happened for the past six years?

It is as if it never happened.

But it did.

And this post is to remind me that I DID went through some teacher training course that eventually made me into the person that I am today.

College


Way back when we were still 13.

Hostel


Gory, isn't it? Thank God four years later they found a thing called paint.

Chillin' in ma room


Raw. I know.

Gory block party


This is when we turn 14.

Annual Dinner 2004


The dinner that got us into trouble.

Choir girls


It was fun!

Kayaking


And drinking 5L of salt water.

TESL Camp


Bending it like Beckham.

Annual Dinner 2005


Consequence of previous dinner - theme stays traditional ONLY.

I danced


The HORROR!

UPM Orientation


What's an orientation if you don't get to sleep for 3 hours only?

Annual Dinner 2006


And we got into deeper shit this time.

English Month Play Performance


Ain't I puuurty?

People just LOVE Sport's Day


Why?

Annual Dinner 2007


But we escaped the admin's wrath as we were happily scantily dressed (according to maktab) for our dinner in UPM.

Stage makeup course


Behold! My creation!

FESTIK, UPM


Never in my life I thought I'd be part of a Malay theatre. But of course, it was a silent role :D

Taming of The Shrew Play


Making Shakespeare proud. Or not.

MICELT


No, that's not Santa. That's...Oh god, I forgot his name. Gotta check my ESL books. But definitely NOT Santa.

I played volleyball


The world should've ended.

Theatre in ESL


Best. Semester. Ever.

Visiting an artist's home



We get to act 'sophisticated'.

Annual Dinner 2008


The last dinner ever where we can dress as sluts (according to maktab). And that's why UPM rocks.

Goodbye Awesome UPM BBQ


A lil celebration before going back to prison.

Paintball!


Best. TESLian activity. Ever.

Teaching practice


First guinea pigs students :D

Informal Dinner 2010



'Coz there were no longer dinners for TESLians but only high teas with the dress code 'batik' after the deep shit we got into. But screw them, we had our OWN.

I'm glad I'm such a photo whore 'coz at least I have pictures to remind me of the time when we were young and stupid and reckless.

'Coz I don't get to be young and stupid and reckless anymore.

I'd get fired.

But all in all, it was a great six years and I wouldn't change anything about it.

I'd trim my eyebrows earlier though.

So one day when I feel like shoving horse shit onto my students' face, I can always go back to this and say,

"I was once a student too"

Friday, July 9, 2010

Hair-volution


How often do you mess with your hair?

As in, drown it with chemicals to make it NOT look like your hair your momma gave you?

Or maybe just a hair cut.  As in, a drastic hair cut that made you look more like your aunt, or the one that made you look twelve.

People, this is my 6 years of hair evolution.

*Warning: Reader might get an overdose of writer's face that would make him/her gouge her eyes.

Once I started, I could not stop.

Here goes!

1. The 'virgin' hair (2004)


Pure, untouched, natural hair.  (Ignore family members)

2. Broke hair's virginity (2005)


Or maybe just had some petting.  (Ignore blacked out friend's face.  She would kill me if she's exposed)

3. Long, sleek hair (2005)


'Coz I had a plan.

4. Tight perms! (2006)


A bit disappointed it didn't turn out American African like I wanted.


5. Gave another try with highlights (2006)


This was when I was a bridesmaid, don't laugh at me!


6. It started to have a mind of its own (2006)


And I could have sworn this photo was taken in the 90's.


7. Short, permed hair (2006)


Chopped it off the day after the Unduk Ngadau.  I just had enough of all of it.  Plus it won't grow long enough in case my mother wanna make me join the contest again the following year.


8. Shoulder length permed hair (2006)


I never had to do my hair!  So easy!

9. Really short hair (2007)


It was a 'now or never' decision.

10. Blond (2007)


I just went crazy with the peroxides.  I didn't know what came into me.

11. Blond with lighter streaks (2007)


I really couldn't help it! Looking trashy didn't occur to me.

12. Light brown (2007)


This oughta fix the trashiness.

13. BLOODY RED (2007)


I VANT TO SUCK YOUR VLAD!

14. Lighter red (2007)



One week later, can you believe it? What quality...


15. Rusted (2008)


One month later, seriously?!

16. Cleopatra (2008)


Er, 'coz we studied Antony and Cleopatra?


17. Pink highlight (2008)


And that costs a bomb.  FML.


18. Red highlights (2008)


And I got away with this in UPM, can you believe it?

19. Rusted highlight (2008)


Damnit! Again?!

20. Brown with fringe (2008)


I learned my lesson, folks.

21. Fringe outgrew (2009)


And it became lighter?  I didn't do anything with again I swear!

22. Black again! (2009)



'Coz I was going back to maktab the following semester : /


23. Digital permed (2009)


And I almost set the salon on fire.  You call THIS a digital perm?!

24. A REAL digital permed hair (2010)


They should have put a label "Will look like those Japanese girls with perfect hair in 5 months!"  But the chemicals from the perm kinda fried my hair that was dyed black. 


Today, my hair is like twigs as I haven't had a trip to the salon since March.

Will do so after graduation.

'Coz I have a plan.