Friday, March 26, 2010

7 Reasons Why I'm Still Not Qualified As An Awesome Teacher

This week, I was observed by my major and minor lecturers .

Everything went well, in a sense that all those school practical observation horror stories didn't happen to us - sudden power shortage, secretly hijacked LCD projectors, mysterious laptop blackouts, vanishing worksheets etcetera. It's like the universe wants to see you screw up, and those things mentioned above just couldn't happen during non-observation days. It just HAS to happen when your lecturer comes.

So lucky for us, the universe was kind to us. But it gets weirder.

Remember I mentioned about my mentoring lecturer who swore she'll have my blood?

The planets in our solar system has apparently aligned itself before 2012.

She was nice and kind.

Or, it could be a mindfuck revenge.

But nevertheless, nice and kind. And I'm stupendously baffled. And grateful, of course.

Another profound effect of this planetary alignment is that there was a switch in the lecturers' persona.

Like my mentoring lecturer, the lecturers who are guardians of hell's gate have left their post and sought redemption, and the angelic ones have hung their halos and picked up fiery hot iron forks.

Back to my observations.

Generally, I passed and let me quote my lecturer, I 'successfully carried out my activities'. And I 'had the personality of a teacher'. Take that bitches!

However, these are the seven things they told me that I shouldn't be doing in class:

1. Be a walking dictionary.
More teaching, less spoon feeding. I tried a new technique today and it worked, though. Just remove the word that they don't understand from the sentence, and they can automatically guess what it is. Ironic, I know. But it works.

2. Have a could-not-care-less attitude.
Like, so what if I don't count the number of students in my class?! Or if their class is not clean! Apparently I have to care a bit and be stern about these little things.
But why...

3. Ignore the row of students on my right.
I swear I wasn't ignoring them! I think.

4. Have bad time management.
Duh! How am I suppose to teach literature in half an hour with all those three required stages?

5. Have word diarrhea on my whiteboard.

So Dr. Jaya's dyslexic all-over-the-place-writing disability accommodation mechanism rub off on me a bit.
My whiteboard's a hot mess. And I can assure you, I'm not dyslexic.

6. Stingy with praises.

But I'm not the grinch you think I am! I just don't wanna come off as fake! I'll give it when praises are due! Really!

7. And lastly, calling students whom I don't remember their names 'You'
I didn't mean to sound like Dr. Yang in Grey's Anatomy! I only use it when I'm moving my attention to a different student! e.g. "Okay, the next person to answer is...(tapping on her table) You! Answer the next question". But it's not as rude as you think! I swear!


The road to awesomeness is paved with wicked behaviors.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Operation Kiss Ass

Aim: Survival for Practical Semester

Objective: To enable mentor and teachers to give a good word about trainee to the mentoring lecturer.

Items: Snacks you can't find in Peninsular, cinnamon bark

Classified items

Target(s): Teachers and mentor

Priority 1 item/target: Cinnamon bark from Keningau ('Cinnamon' town) for mentor.

Operation date: 22 March 2010



Wednesday, March 17, 2010

13 Photos You Should Not Have On Your Facebook If Your Boss, Colleagues, Parents and Students (if you're a teacher) Are On Your Friends List

If you follow my blog, you'd know that I have two Facebook profiles. The other profile is for my students or teachers in school who want to add me. Because for my life, I cannot, I repeat, I cannot let them especially my colleagues see what I'm up to outside my school life. For those who know me personally, you'd know I'd be shoving shit on my face if I add them on my primary profile.

I read an interesting post by Chegu Carol, and she brought light to this matter of who should and should not be added on your Facebook.

Now what if your boss personally sent you a friend request. If you don't approve it, you're screwed. And if you do, well, you're screwed either way.

And your parents. Lord, the parents! It's like having the Censorship Board on your Facebook. And also the constant hovering on your profile, asking time and time again what you are up to, trying to 'keep in touch'. Or waiting for you to post a shout out like 'scrapped my knee today :(' so that they can shower you with their love. Publicly. So if you're wondering, NO, I did not approve my mom's request. No matter how hard she begged. She's in my other profile. The good girl one.

Teachers and students. Once they see your Facebook, all your teacherness that they see in class every day is stripped away. Unless if you're a total nerd, that wouldn't make much any difference. However, I personally think that it is okay to let students see the other side of you. Minus your semi naked photo-whoring photos. HOWEVER, it is NOT okay for other teachers, especially the senior ones to see the party animal side of you. Sungguh tidak memartabatkan profesion keguruan (so not dignifying the teaching profession). Also, you might get transferred. 'Coz you are tainting the school's image and you are a big bad nasty influence to your young and impressionable students.

So what do we do? Do we approve their friend request or not?

I give you here my friends, a guide to help you decide.

These are the 13 types of photos you should not have on your FB if you decide to approve your boss, colleagues, parents or students (if you're a teacher) friend request.

1. Photos with booze

It screams alcoholic and irresponsibility.

2. Clubbing photos

If you don't do your work on time, you can get hell for this. And teachers, what kind of teachers are you?! This is blasphemy!

3. Party photos

Simply says PARTY ANIMAL.

4. Wasted-looking photos

Your boss will never believe your 'migraine' excuse anymore.

5. Suspicious looking photos of substance abuse

Substance abuse is a serious matter. Regardless whether you did it or not. Photos CAN exaggerate.

6. Public display affection photos

"Are you married? You're not? Why aren't you married? When are you getting married?!"

7. Suspicious homosexual photos

"Gasp! What will people say?! You should get married to that guy before people starts talking!"

8. Holiday photos overload

A huge no brainer giveaway for your 'grandma-passed-away-one-week-holiday-excuse'.

9. Photos with sexual innuendos

Two words: Disciplinary. Action.

10. Sexed-up photos
Circulation will happen. Then photoshopping. Then another new round of circulation. Either the school will go down with you, or you'll get fired. And never get hired. 'Cept for a whole different industry.

11. Photoshoot photos
Having another job aside your primary job is bad. If you're working for a company, they might think your overdue report is caused by your other commitments. If you're a teacher, the government could seriously fuck you up for cheating on them.

12. Pagent photos

They'll never take you seriously. You're just a walking stick with boobs who think Gandhi is still alive. Plus, if you're a teacher, how can you be taking part in this kind of activity? You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

13. Clearly inappropriate photos

'Nuff said.

So, if you have more than half of these types of photos, better think twice before clicking the 'accept' button. And if you're in a profession like mine where you're under public scrutiny and keeping up the role-model-with-rigid morals appearance are top priority, you better open up another account.

And I know some of my students are reading this. Fuck it. Girls, now you know why I can't add you on my primary account. For now.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I found my nanny on Facebook!

Yes, no school stories today.

'Coz I found my long lost nanny!

She took care of me when I was 2 months old, till I turned four.

Or rather, she found me. I never knew her full name.

I only knew her as Aunty Lita, and she is my baptism Godmother. My memory of her is fuzzy, but I do know her existence in my life. Or maybe, the photos told me so.

All I know is that when I was four, she went back to Philippines. I'm not sure if I cried, or I was this douchy aloof kid. And I never heard from her since. But mom made sure we don't forget who took care of us when we were young, and her name stuck the longest.

20 years later, she decided to find me on Facebook. All these while she was trying to find a way to keep in touch with us, but she thought we had migrated to Australia. True story: my parents thought of migrating 20 years ago - and I would've grown up with a sick Aussie accent.

And above all, she remembers my full name, up to my Chinese name (it's Li Yung though - amazing memory still!). And perhaps the crux of this revelation is that she still refers me as 'baby'. I was like a daughter to her before she had her own.

Now that pulled my heart strings. And made me feel like a jerk for having a vague memory :(

(ignore her typo!)

Guess Facebook's true objective of connecting people still prevails. Asides getting people fired, divorced, raped, jailed and killed.

The feeling of reuniting with a person whom I can barely remember, but who cared for me just like a mother would is just so weird. But weird in a good way. The kind that leaves you with a warm fuzzy feeling, and wishing that you'd remember more. I just wanna run into her arms and hug her! Though seeing that her photo on Facebook may not match the photographic memory in my head, I might hug the wrong person.

She still has photos of us too.

That explains my photo-whoring/hogging/bombing behaviour.

I was doing it before I can say my ABCs :D

Saturday, March 6, 2010

The Light at The End of The Tunnel

As most of you know, I'm now in that dark seemingly endless little tunnel called Practical.

Being in that pitch black tunnel, we trudged blindly along the way, feeling so lost and confused, suffocated by the air of overwhelmingness (if that's even a real word), made claustrophobic by shitloads of work, and occasionally suffered from a mild case of sense of time impairment.

Not to mention zombified and robbed off our precious weekend rights. There's no such thing as T.G.I.F. anymore. There's nothing to be thankful for a Friday, as Saturday will whip your ass to get up for school.

I can't remember the last time I write about something optimistic and full of sunshine.

However, today is the day.

A student posted this in her blog:

There is light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope after all. This is the light.

And I am gonna be kick ass awesome.

P/S: Ignore the age mistake. I said ignore it! Why aren't you ignoring it?!

P/S II: Boyfriend, I can explain 'bout the last line...I love you?