So I've been an actual teacher for like, three months now.
A job that I never thought I would be which in the end, makes me think that I am actually capable of being one.
Thanks to my kids during my teaching practice. They made me believe I am awesome.
But three months in the 'real world' now, I'm starting to doubt myself.
I don't know how to teach students who are dumb as rocks.
I don't know how to punish incredibly rude students.
I don't know how to motivate students to have a bigger dream in life instead of just dismantling engines in a workshop.
And I don't know how to make them pass their SPM.
I didn't learn this during my teaching practice, nor was it in the books I read.
And I hate it the most when people who don't know shit about being a teacher, judges me, and tells me how pathetic my methods are.
As long as we teachers don't hurt, kill, molest, or rape our students, you don't get to judge our actions because you are not one and stories from your teaching pals ain't gonna make you understand our profession. Kapeesh?
My parents said I have the best job in the world.
I work half day and I get months of holidays.
Sure, IF I don't give a fuck about my kids.
'Coz when you do, the fucking world is on your shoulders. Their fucking world is on your shoulders.
Maybe I'm still new, maybe I still got lots to learn.
And maybe, I just can't save them all.
But for now, due to this depressing revelation, I'm extremely driven to get my Masters and be a lecturer and leave all this crap behind.
Till I can accept the fact that not everyone can be saved.
By the way, she has the best job in the world.