Sunday, October 24, 2010

10 Things To Expect On Your Graduation Day

It's still graduation fever from where I come from.

So far I only graduated once - twice if you count kindergarten in; but I'm cocky enough to think I have enough knowledge to share about the things to expect on your graduation day with those who haven't graduated.

No matter where you graduate, and what you graduate from, it will probably be the same. I think.

So here goes:

1. You will be asked to stand in lines outside the hall before entering under the sweltering sun. Hence, you will sweat like a pig. Like, sweat trickling down your thighs sweat. Like, completely dry outside yet completely drenched inside sweat. Like, Hurricane Katrina under your armpits and your armpit hairs are desolately drowning sweat. You get the idea.

2. Your mortar board (cap) will only stay put for a minute, 3 minutes tops. So prepare hair clips. Guys, that includes you. Unless you have rock hard hair gel. Or glue.

(Dude's smirking like that 'coz I googled this pic from a sex costume site. I wonder what he's graduating at. Or on. Or in.)

3. You can't bring anything into the hall. No handbags and that includes your handphones. But you must have your handphone for dear life (this will be explained soon). So where to put your handphone you ask? In your bra. Really. I did that. No I didn't get turned on when it vibrated. Guys, uh, put it in your...uh, oh yeah, I forgot you got pockets. Right, put it in your pockets. That's exactly what I wanted to say before I lost my train of thoughts.

Mine was bra, not cleavage. If you can tell the difference.

4. You will be asked to NOT bring your cameras and handycams and they will threaten you with all sorts of things to make sure you don't. But screw them. Bring it. What, they dare to confiscate a camera from an old, frail, teary eyed lady proud of their son/daughter who just wanted to immortalise her proudest moment? That being, you have to remind your mom to be exactly like that lady just in case they do want to confiscate those stuffs. But seriously, every parent will not give a shit with such rules, so yeah, just bring 'em.

5. You will most probably be separated with your besties. Especially if all of you don't come at the same time.

6. The moment that you have been waiting for all your life, the years of shedding blood, sweat and tears completing overdued assignments and sucking up to your lecturers, and blowing a few hundred bucks on graduation studio photos with a pompous-looking frame - all of these - and you will only spend three to five seconds when walking across the stage to receive your scroll. That's it. A lifetime achievement for just a few seconds.

7. And oh, you will probably be accompanied by THE most inappropriate songs. I pity those graduates who received their scroll with Barry Manilow's Copacabana song playing.

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She would merengue and do the cha-cha
And while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar
Across a crowded floor, they worked from 8 till 4
They were young and they had each other
Who could ask for more?

At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana (Copacabana)
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana
Music and passion were always the fashion
At the Copa....they fell in love

I wanted to weep for them. But then the song got stuck in my head. Till now. Copacabana!

Congratulations, darling!

8. Whilst enjoying your five seconds of proud moment on stage, you will forget that there are cameras at the end of stage waiting to snap you with your eyes half closed and sell it to you for fifty bucks. So be alert of the cameras and smile at them to get your money's worth.

9. You will lose your parents once the event is over. Hence, the handphone in the bra/pocket will come in handy. However, their phones will still be in silent mode so yeah, you're gonna feel like crying when you see other graduates get hugs from their parents and you're still one lost lamb.


10. You will lose your coursemates. Finding your parents is one thing, finding your fifty coursemates is another. So good luck in getting a class graduation photo. Obviously, I missed out on that :/

So there you go, the ten things to expect on your graduation day, the do's and the don't's.

Here's an addition to this list.

You will definitely want to have that graduation-cap-on-the-air shot. But I'm telling ya, it's not that easy to get.

Here's something I that shows my narcissistic endeavours compiled that explains why:

So people, those who have already graduated years ago, you must be reminiscing more on your graduation rather than focusing on this post; and those who will graduate soon or ten years from now, hope this will be a guide for you so that you'll have a perfect one.

Mine was a little less perfect, and there's nothing I can do to change it even if I photoshop a meme of myself in my classmates' graduation photo, but having all my loved ones with me to carry my stuff and to yell around to celebrate one of my greatest moments in life is what counts.

So, how was your graduation?


sHeiLa said...

hahaha..betul tu manda! i experienced all those, cuma tu lagu jak la..heeeeee

i was lost when i went out from the hall.. atukoii, di mana2 muka orang. and u need to squeeze urself not tenggelam among the crowd. My dad even went up sana batas2 bunga ba p mencari sa! nasib dia basar, sa nampak dia bediri sana tengah2 pulau manusia..heeee

siok eh!

kei-1 said...

never had one, most probably will be years before I have mine. So my graduation was only marking trial SPM papers. Cheers to being a rookie teacher.

Dedz said...

Awesome! Thanks for this post manda..
I've anticipated all except 2 and 7.. Hahaha.. Copacabana?? So inappropriate owh... Yeah, will definitely bring those bobby pins now.

Memer said...

I'm gonna make sure mine is perfect in its own way,hehehe

Daniel Chiam said...

I am collage drop-out [full stop] haha.

chegu carol said...

the handbag part, we were lucky to be allowed handbag in. just during my time, digital camera is yet to exist. so no camwhoring for fear habis film before the ceremony even begin. ha!

and no, we didnt do the mortar board throwing..dunno why. :)

nc said...

seriously!! Copacabana? hahaha..imagine that. but anyway..all graduations are unique. Congrats once again :)

Amanda Christine Wong said...

Sheila: gila o kan?! it's like, u can drown in a sea of people ni...pandai jg daddy ko ah cari batas...hehehe...but yeah, it was fun no matter what!

Kei: so that's why u couldnt come huh...

Dedz: thanks! tu la, i wished somebody had prepare me with all hope u will have a blast!

Memer: if u're thinking of wearing an Armani suit, be prepared to get WET!

Daniel: Uh, there's always next time? heh.

Carol: omg, i still remember those kodaks! camwhore dua tiga kali ja la blh...hehe

nc: seriously! ketawa sy o tgk dorang naik stage with that song, cam mau menari ja...hehe...thanks again!

Lizeewong said...

Your graduation pics brought back memories of my graduation day years ago. Same Uni, dewan, stage etc :) Sweet.

That video is so hilarious esp when you girls argue about the mortar board hehehe...and somebody's mom was talking on the background - mcm encouraging you all to reshoot again and again :)

Congrats Manda!

Amanda Christine Wong said...

lizee: I missed it already! hehe..ya ba, bising betul dorang di background...heheh..anyway, THANKS! :)

The Countess said...

Damit! Now that ridiculous song is in my head!
I hate that song. =/

Amanda Christine Wong said...

The Countess: HAHA! I find it annoyingly catchy!

Wiskies said...

Oh yeah this is funny to recall.. Don't know where's own daddy & mummy. Btw, congrats for your convocation! You've made it! ;)

friscodaniel said...

I remembered my convocation, I wished I could super decrease the size of my dslr... they are TOO big for me to snap around... I wonder how would the official photographers be when I am around taking photos too with my robe..