Sunday, June 28, 2009

Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen. Asleep.


**Spoiler alert

I squealed with thrill when I first saw the trailer.

I couldn't wait to watch the movie.

I got excited just watching the Dreamworks intro, the one with the kid sitting at the edge of the moon, fishing.

Then the movie started.

And...I dozed off. A number of times. Waking up to sudden loud sounds and people laughing, leaving me fuzzy of what just happened, and became that annoying person in cinemas who's a bit slow with things and asks neverending questions.

The movie wasn't that bad, that it lulled me to sleep. And it's not that good either, in my honest opinion. I was just really, really sleepy. 'Coz if it was good, there'd be no chance of dozing off, right?

Sure there were more robots, bigger and awesomer, more action scenes, more metal crushing gore, and more shots of Fox's butt and everything's larger than life, but it still didn't actually fulfilled my expectation.

I did heed the review warnings and lowered my expectations (i.e. left my brain home) but still, I wasn't impressed.

There were a couple of anomalies in the movie, like, Megatron is NOT the ultimate ruler, and there's a Decepticon who can transform into a human hot minx. A friend whose other religion is Transformers confirmed this, including several other stuffs like, the Twin robots are actually Decepticons, but became the good guys in the movie. And the plot was a mess.

BUT. The thing that I dislike the most about the movie is its slapstick and unnecessary humor. It's like Michael Bay was trying too hard to keep up to his raised bar from the first movie. And failed miserably, though it did manage to entertain people who um, are just easily entertained. Come on, did you expect a light hearted action packed movie when you see this poster and read its tagline?


Lovers of Transformers 2 might hate me, and those who haven't watch the movie might scorn me for being a spoiler here; but hey, I dozed off every 10 minutes during the second half of the movie, what do I know about criticising it?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Nation of the world!


I believe I have a rather unique face. The Malays frown when I wear skimpy clothes, because they thought I am one of them. The Chinese thinks I'm lying when I tell them my name, when I'm really one of them. And strangers talk to me because they are dying to know what race I am exactly. Well, I'm gonna give you 9 hints of what exactly I am:

1. Malay?


2. Chinese?


3. Chindian? (Chinese + Indian)


4. KaDus? (Kadazan + Dusun)


5. Philippina?


6. Japanese?


7. Brazilian?


8. Eurasian?


9. Or African American?


So, what's the verdict? And in the end, does it REALLY matter what race I am? So what if I'm a Malay, can't I eat butter chicken at a Chinese restaurant? So what if I'm a Chinese, can't I hang out with my Malay buddies? So what if I'm a KaDus, can't I not like to eat bosou (fish & rice jerky)? So what if I'm Brazilian...wait, hold that thought - hm, that'd be pretty awesome. 'Coz in the end, I'm just like you - Malaysian.

Hm, methinks I make the perfect poster girl for Najib's One Malaysia notion.

But if you really want to know what I am, I'm just a proud spawn of my Hakka father and Hainam-Kadazan mother.


But then again, since I don't look either like them, I must've been an adopted Malay-Indian-Chinese-KaDus-Philipina-Japanese-Brazilian- Caucasion-African American Princess.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

6 Cute-Proof Pose For Your Facebook (And Friendster If You Are Still On It. Why Are You Still On It?)


Don't think you're cute? Don't think you're photogenic? Uploading a cute Japanese girl's photo instead of yours because you think you can't look like them? Fret not my uncute/unphotogenic friend, 'coz I am here to guide you on how to strike not one, not two, not three, but six cute poses!

1. The Bug-Eyed Pose:


- This is the most basic cute-proof pose, and is the foundation for five of the other poses.
- Your camera must be about 45 degrees above your head.
- Your eyes must be as big as possible.
- You can either pout, or smile, according to your liking.

2. The Horizontal Peace Sign Pose:

- Hold your bug-eyed pose.
- Make those peace sign fingers and place it horizontally at your eye level.
- Your fingers may touch your face, or they may not, according to your liking.

3. The Blow Fish Pose:

- Hold your bug-eyed pose.
- Collect air in your mouth and hold it.
- Place index finger next to your blew up cheek.
- Your index finger may touch your face or not, and the quantity of air in your mouth is according to your liking.

4. The Pursed Lips Pose:

- Your camera doesn't necessarily have to be 45 degrees above your head.
- It just have to be really close to your face, leaving as little space for the background.
- Your eyes must be as big as possible.
- Most importantly, purse your lips to make it as thin and tiny as possible.
- You may raise your eyebrows to make your eyes look bigger, or you may not, according to your liking.

5. The Slanted Peace Sign Pose:

- This is possibly the hardest pose to take. You must master pose No.1, No.2, and No.4 in order to be able to pull this look.
- Hold your bug-eyed pose.
- Make those peace sign finger and place it in a slanting way near to your mouth.
- You may purse or pout your lips, according to your liking.
- *Note: You must have slender fingers to do this, or else your fingers will look like creepy chopsticks as illustrated.

6. The Cute Emo Pose:

- Last but not least, the Cute Emo Pose. It's not exactly a cute pose, but it is one of the hottest social networking sites look that angsty and self-proclaimed 'emo' teenagers are into now.
- Hold your camera 45 degrees above your head.
- Instead of bulging your eyes out, just look at camera as angrily as possible.
- Gather your hair to cover half of your face.
- You may add more black eyeliner or wear a pick skull ribbon on your hair, according to your liking.

**Hot tip: Use a camera phone that is 2.0 mega pixels below as you want to achieve that grainy photo look.

Easy, isn't it?! Now you can look as cute as your other 300 friends on your Facebook that you don't even know! And remember, practice makes perfect! Arigato gozaimas!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Young marriage: Love or baby?


A conversation takes place between a conservative mother and a young but very open minded daughter.

Daughter: Mom, when did you and dad got married?
Mother: Why, it was right after we graduated from highschool, in December 2009.
Daughter
: But I was born in June 2010. I knew it! Grumpy Ole Granny is right. I WAS an accident!
Mother: Honey, shush, what are you talking about?
Daughter: Oh, come on Mom, you got married right after high school?
Mother: So? Your dad and I were madly and love and just can't wait to start a life together!
Daughter: Yeah, and I was born 7 months later. Two months is just enough to plan a shot gun wedding, huh.
Mother: Child! I don't understand where you are going with this!
Daughter: Oh mother, stop pretending. I know all about the birds and the bees, and I'm totally fine with your youthly, recklessness. Really, Mom.
Mother: Mind your language young lady! You're only 10!
Daughter: I am minding my language. I said the birds and the bees.
Mother: Whatever is it that you're thinking, it's nonsense! You were a premature baby for God's sakes!
Daughter: Oh. Really? Hm. Never thought of it that way. Guess Granny was just being grumpy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a social stigma that career driven, money minded, knowledge-pursuer, rat race runner marriage cynics have on married young couples.

The reason they always assume for these young couples' holy matrimony? The girl got knocked up.

It's seldom about oh-we're-so-in-love-screw-my-education-let's-get-married-tomorrow.

It's seldom about I-can't-wait-to-be-a-housewife-and-have-kids.

During our parents' time on the other hand, getting married right after (or before) secondary school is a normal thing. Some marry to ease their family's burden. Some marry 'coz they can't afford higher education. And some marry 'coz of lack of knowledge on contraceptive devices.

But today, it looks bad to get married right after your SPM. People won't believe in true love. They believe in babies.

Plus the age to settle down statistically today has increased to 24 above for women, and 27 above for men.

I don't have anything against those who marry early, but I am guilty of having that unfair presumption and judgment.

A conversation takes place this morning between my brother and I:

Brother: Another friend of us got knocked up!
Me: Really? So that explains the wedding...
Brother: Well, I don't know about that. I just assumed.
Me: Oh. Could be though.

I'm a cynic. Help.

Fate


Fate, n - A power that some people believe controls and decides everything that happens, in a way that cannot be prevented or changed.


Fate. Some people believe that it determines the events in their lives, some people prefer to believe that God who does it.

Whatever it is, these are the questions to ponder. Do you let fate determine your life, or you'd rather take the wheels? If you do take the wheels, would a whole different event happen, to substitute your 'supposed' destiny and messing up the whole equilibrium of life? And eventually, bringing downfall? Or perhaps fortune?

I am going to tamper with my fate tomorrow.

I'm going to meet the person in charge of posting teachers for the Keningau division to ask for a place in SMK Gunasanad.

Instead of letting fate decide where I should get posted.

Which I do not know if it's going to be wisest decision I have ever made, or a regret I have to live up to my entire life.

Truth is, part of me would be glad just to let fate take me wherever I am, even if it means surviving in an isolated island to work a generator to be able read every night, or surviving in an urban jungle to pay for electricity bills to be able to read every night. I wouldn't mind it at all. I want to be surprised, even though it may be a horrifying one. I'm up for life's challenges.

That's the existentialist part of me who says that.

The rational one however, thinks not only for herself, but also considers her family and loved ones, and to consider her securities for a comfortable life. They want her to stay close to home. Plus, she can save A LOT of money by staying at her parents' house. Life, will be a breeze.

And as usual, the rational one always gets the upper hand, pushing the existentialist away. And that's why, I have to go tomorrow; still thinking, whether it's a good idea or not. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

So since I'm tampering with fate, let's just see how far taking the wheels work. Will I actually get a post teaching in my hometown; or fate being a better driver, takes me to Pulau Sapi or Damansara?

One year from now, we'll find out.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Eulogy for the late Catherine Yong


Today I received a shocking news.

My teacher died.

She was one of my favourite teachers, she was one of the coolest.

She's the type who initially appears strict and mean, but as you get to know her, she's just wicked and she teaches you stuff about life you don't find in books.

She never crossed my mind since I left school though...until today.

So it's an ironic thing: only when a person is gone, then only they start coming alive in your mind.

She may be dead in body, but alive in our minds.

May she rest in peace. Deepest condolence to her family.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Blonde and blonder


I had a blonde moment today. Or I'd prefer to say I encountered a blonde person. Coz' I can't decide who's blonder. For those who are not familiar with the term 'blonde moment', it means you acted like a blonde bimbo. Stereotypically, they're not so smart, those poor beautiful things.

Today I went to take a passport photo.

Blonde moment #1 (though it's totally unrelated to the issue I'm about to share):
I didn't know you called that little photo where you pose in front of a blue background is called a passport photo. I thought you called that an IC photo 'coz a passport photo should be, duh, a passport photo where they blow up your face and your ears must stick out for no apparent reason.

Blonde moment #2:
Now the real issue is when I'm about to take my newly developed photos. After checking out my photos and thinking vainly how good I look, I realised they didn't give me the negative for the photo. So I asked for it. And the pimply girl at the counter told me they don't give the negatives, that if you want to develop the photo again, just come to the shop and they'll do it for you. Then I thought, how on earth are they gonna recognize my face from a negative film? If I want the negative, I'll have to pay an additional RM3. Then I thought, I might need to develop more photos when I'm back in JB. So I guess RM3 is okay of a price.

Until she handed me this:

According to moon crate girl, this mini compact disc is the negative.

And there I was looking miffed at the thought of being ripped off three bucks for something I thought was a thin brown film negative of my face.

So who's the blonde one now?

The girl who assured me there's a negative film of my face, or me, who has forgotten for a moment that we are now living in a digital world where brown films are obsolete?

Whoever is, I'm still being ripped off three bucks for something I can do myself; and acne girl can go on living her life like normal trying to find chemicals that can actually scrap those nasties off her face.

No offence to people who have bad acne - I'm just being disgruntled.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

End of single life VS A comfortable life


Somewhere in the future, a conversation takes place between a teacher and her 9 year old daughter...

Daughter: Mommy, when did you know you wanted to marry Daddy?
Mommy : Why sweetie, right before mommy had to fill out the posting form before Mommy graduated.
Daughter
: ...

Mommy
: Honey, Mommy had to, or else Mommy would've end up teaching monkeys in the
jungle.
Daughter
: ...

Mommy
: Rural schools were so much in demand of teachers those days.

Daughter
: ...

Mommy
: FINE. When Mommy and Daddy realised we were so much in love and had to be
together for the rest of our lives.

The teacher's daughter jovially kisses the cheek of her mother and continues with her Barbie and Kent wedding ceremony.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Virtually half of my seniors and superseniors got engaged/married before they graduated. A couple of my classmates plan to get engaged before they graduate. And I just heard a rumour that one of them got married during this hols (Deeyah, I need more clarification from you though).

And one of the reasons for such major decision? So that when they graduate, they'd be able to get posted back to their hometown school, or their fiance's place; and not end up teaching in a soil grounded hut of a school tucked deep in the ruralest area in Malaysia. And of course, there's love, too, no doubt.

I don't want to judge their decision to get married for this reason, and I surely wish them well in their life's new chapter.

I just don't condone it.

To end a fabulous, carefree single life and to step into a lifelong commitment just because you are so afraid of crawling out of your comfort zone to go teach in a foreign, God forsaken place is just plain dumb. If you wanna get hitch to that dude from the same hometown you just met six months ago, not having much time to know that he might or might not be the one for you 'coz you have to fill out those bloody posting forms pronto, is dumber. Believing that you will learn to love that person eventually with a consolation that you're still living with your parents could be the dumbest decision of all.

To me, getting married is way, way scarier than being posted in a rural area. Yeah, sure I'll stay in my comfort zone, my little warm hometown, but being in a marriage is so not a comfortable place to be in yet!I mean, come on! A lifelong commitment? Nagging from parents and in-laws for grandkiddies they can play with? No more late night partying and boozing? How do you even know that person is right for you? That he will help you clean out your stern and change your adult diapers when you're old and wrinkly and have uncontrollable bladder? Call me a commitment phobe, but I'd rather commit to my job wherever I get posted than to commit to a marriage with a guy I'm not even so sure I wanna grow old with. After all, you can always ask for a transfer. You can however not ask to go back to being single and free.

I don't know about you, but this is just my two cents. I hope my classmates and juniors and all teacher trainees won't use the "I don't wanna get posted in outside my hometown" excuse just to get married and end their freedom to individuality. I mean, if they do they wanna get married/engaged before they graduate (can't blame being horny), I really hope it'd be out of true love and the discovery that that person they are going to make the biggest life sacrifice of all to, is definitely THE ONE.

Otherwise, I wish them well.

Monday, June 8, 2009

The only plushy I want in the world...


I'm not a big fan of plushies. I don't do plushies, especially teddy bears. Not even those that are four feet tall. Guys, if you want to impress me, don't waste rm600 on a giant teddy bear for me. I'll probably sell it back to a desperate loser trying to impress his crush and use that rm600 to buy me a Guess bag.

HOWEVER. There is a plushy way to my heart.

This is it:


A CYANIDE & HAPPINESS PLUSHY!!!

For those in the dark of this simple, smiley, bald headed, stick limbed doll, it is a character (or more precisely, represents most of the characters) in the sick and twisted dark humored comic, Cyanide & Happiness.


While I'm at this, I would also love to have this shirt:


Rad!

I'll probably order this tee when my next allowance comes in...and get somebody nice enough to get me the plushy :D

Saturday, June 6, 2009

One month from now...


Exactly one month from now:
  1. I'll be wearing my lucky purple baju kurung. It's not exactly lucky. I just like to wear it every time school reopens.
  2. I'll be walking downhill to class in fugly courtshoes.
  3. I'll be intercepted by Mr. B, our lovely ketua warden. But heard he got promoted. So maybe not. But then again.
  4. I'll be attending a morning assembly on a wet field. I just have a hunch it's gonna be a wet Monday morning.
  5. I'll be attending a morning exercise, doing pseudo tai chi with Frank Sinatra's My Way.
  6. I'll be sitting in a non-airconditioned classroom.
  7. I'll be standing up and greeting my lecturer like a school kid.
  8. I'll be hating on my lecturers.
  9. I'll be swearing and whining the whole day.
  10. I'll just stare at the cafe food.
  11. I'll be depressed, dark and morbid for the rest of the afternoon.
  12. I'll be going to Medan Selera Cenderawasih and eat nasi lemak telur for dinner.
  13. I'll continue to be depressed, dark and morbid throughout the night.
  14. And finally, I'll be crying myself to sleep.
I have exactly only thirty days left for sunshine and happiness.

I'm getting morbid just thinking about it.

Now to go out and look for some sunshine.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

It's a small world after all!


Our earth houses 6,784,297,840 humans, as confirmed by the U.S. Census Bureau at 09:54 GMT (EST+5) Jun 04, 2009.

Malaysia may be a speck of dust in the world map, but it has
a population of roughly 25,715,819 people, and has a total of 329,750 sq km of land. That's a lot of people. And a lot of land.

And as for Sabah, there are 2.66 mil people living on its 76, 115 sq km of terra.

By statistics, it's a huge place we're living in, yet it is a small world after all.

Here's my it's-a-small-world-after-all situations:

  • When I was in KL with my parents, in the heart of it, (Bukit Bintang, that is); we bumped into my parents' friends from Keningau.
  • Everyone I know who comes from Labuan seems to know each other. Every single one of them.
  • Five years ago, we had a new neighbour. I never knew them as I just got into IPTI. My coursemate, Amir, from KL, happens to be that new neighbour. And we've been sharing the same fence since.
  • I met my bestfriend Shanshan when I moved to SM Ken Hwa in 2001. Little did I know we were classmates during kindergraten in St. Francis Xavier. I didn't befriend her then.
  • One of my best buds, Kenn and I always compared and dissed each other's teacher's training college (he was in Maktab Kent, and I in IPTI). Two years later, we were on the same side, dissing IPTI.
  • When I was nine, I had a class nemesis. We were always beating each other for the first place in class. We hated each other, and I had made him cry. Nine years later, we bumped into each other. He immediately developed a crush on me.
  • If the world is small, then the cyber world is smaller. An unknown person added me on Friendster. I didn't know her then. Probably 'bout two years later then I realised, she's Ainon, also a primary school friend whom I haven't seen since I was ten.
  • But then again, maybe the world and the cyberworld are equally small. I have an MSN friend, whom I never met and I don't plan to. But I did see him in the real world. In UPM a couple of times and in my hometown's KFC. And he's from Tenom.
  • Jacqueline Joseph, Miss Unduk Ngadau Keningau 2009 is apparently related to me. Something like my great grandma are siblings with her grandma, and my grandma are cousins with her mother, and my mother are second cousins with her. Or something like that.
  • I bumped into a "sorta" junior of mine from IPG, Zach ("sorta" coz I was there for only a month). I never met him in my life. Or so I thought. Turns out we did met before. We were childhood friends and my mom would always bring me to his place/cousin's place. 'Cept that I barely played with them as I was always glued behind my mom's skirt. I was a really shy kid. No shitting.
So far, all these it's-a-small-world-after-all situations are pleasant, as your memory makes a jog way back when, and it's a delight to have that unexpected meeting. But of course, there's always that unwanted, awkward and sometimes painful bumping, or a relationship revelation that you'd like to never happen. For instance, finding out that your girlfriend of five years is your fourth cousin by blood. That actually happened to a friend of mine.

So yeah, it's a small world after all!



Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Revamp! Version 2


I liked the first version for like, 5 minutes. Then I realised it's all squeezed up and there were spatial errors here and there.

But I had to put that picture of Mary dragging her lamb.

It's absolutely wicked.

Revamp!


Finally it's a lot less like Perezhilton.com.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Ambigraming


After watching the movie Angels & Demons and reading the book, I was fascinated by the ambigrams. Apparently Dan Brown had an artist to sketch the ambigrams for him. I thought the artist is a genius.


I, am a genius too.

I too, can make ambigrams. Even making an ambigram using my own name.

Using an Ambigram Generator of course :D

This way it's Amanda:


Upside down, it goes Christine:


If you don't believe me tilt your head 360 degrees.

Super cool.

If I were to get a tattoo someday, this will be it:

Carpe Diem

Now where should I ink it...