Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Wish for seasons

Wish it was summer,
Or at least the sun shines.

Wish it was sweet spring,
Or at least flowers bloom.

Wish it was autumn,
Or at least cool wind blows.

Wish it was winter,
Or at least fake snow falls.

Really wish we were still friends,
Or at least not strangers.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Valentine's Day is NOT for children!

"Baby-faced boy Alfie Patten is father at 13"

BOY dad Alfie Patten yesterday admitted he does not know how much nappies cost — but said: “I think it’s a lot.”

Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne.

He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant.

The shy lad, whose voice has not yet broken, said: “I thought it would be good to have a baby.

“I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10.”

One, SICK!
Two, boys develop sperms before they break their voice??
Three, girlfriend Chantelle, what the fuck you were thinking?! PEDOPHILE!
Four, Alfie, what the fuck YOU were thinking?!
Five, this is just pure sickness!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

When I grow up

When I grow up, I’m going to be a teacher.

Not that I wanted it though, it’s just something I applied and got.

My notion of “growing up” is graduating and landing a job. And that’d be next year.
However, my thoughts ran wild as my future life flashes right in front of me after a long chat with one of my good friend, and also my super senior who is now a teacher in SMK Gunsanad.
With great urgency in her voice, Santhi told me that most of her friends got posted to nasty places without even the basic necessity to live on. So she urged me to do what she did to get a place in my very hometown, which is to meet the big guns of education when I’m in my senior year, before submitting my posting form. She told me to join her in SMK Gunsanad as the school lacks TESL teachers.

I told my mom about this and she was psyched. She was ready to charge the big guns with her aunt (who happens to be the former secretary of the D.O. who of course knows virtually everyone in the government office and their additional dirty laundries). Then it hit me: one, my mom always, always gets her way, one way or another. And two, if that’s the case; I’m going to be working in my very hometown in SMK Gunsanad, one and a half year from now.

Suddenly everything became so real. What I have imagined, dreamt and fantasied had just became a solid reality, like floating dreamy clouds condensing into cold water. There won’t be that imagination of me going to school in a sampan and wearing Japanese slippers to class if I got into an extremely rural school. Nor there would be no more of that thought of living in my apartment alone and bumping into my students in Razzmatazz if I got into a school in KK.

All I can think of now is my life as a teacher in Keningau. How I’m still going to stay at my parents’ house and give them around RM300-RM500 per month so that I won’t look like a parasite. How I’ll be driving the old beater of a Kancil to work instead of my dreamt Celica. How I’m going to pay for the apartment in KK which I won’t be staying in. How I’m going to give tuition in my parents’ kitchen. How non-existent my night life would be ‘coz all they have in my hometown is drinking and karoke spots. And how I can’t go to town in my boy shorts and tank top because the principal of SMK Gunsanad is a Johorian who doesn’t allow his teachers to wear short pants when going to town; even if you live next door to Hiap Lee and realized you’re out of salt while stir-frying your kangkung and just need to run to that supermarket to grab it.

On the bright side, I still can play Guitar Hero in my brothers’ room.

I’m not however believing that it’s a sure shot of me getting into SMK Gunsanad, but there is a solid chance. In fact, I don’t mind being thrown anywhere, I’m up for the challenge of working somewhere out of my comfort zone (or so I think).

But that’s next year. How could I be thinking of all these things when I can’t even get my lesson plan assignments through? For all I know, I might not even make it to graduation: got knocked up, died, swept away by a prince, won the biggest jackpot in the world to support me for life etc – gosh I hope not, except for the last two though.

I still have one and a half year left before I grow up.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Ode to The Ghastly

The Ruler of the universe
Played a nasty joke on me;
With utmost authority,
He plunged me into darkness.

He brought out The Ghastly,
To reign over me,
Could it be from my own transgression -
That causes this morbid depression?

So break the arms I have slit,
Drown me in arsenic; bury me in dirt,
I do not need a casket,
For The Ghastly will drag me out of it.

But then I opened my eyes,
The soil stinging and darkness ruling;
The Ghastly doesn't kill, only brings suffering,
I will survive, for I have found out his vice.

So I thrusted my hand up the grave,
Arising from the dirt to the cold twisted night
Like a zombie staggering through the cemetry maze,
I went to search for his kryptonite.

Armed with stick paint of every hue,
I puckered up, and started practicing,
For I'll master this art of serious ass-kissing
To get my damn research paper through.

**The writer is currently suffering from ungodly depression. She got one of the worst supervisors on Earth, who has no idea at all who King Lear is but insists to be a god in literature. And this is a literature research paper. And oh, he vanishes from the face of the earth everytime he steps out of class. Oh Lord, have mercy.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

More wacky ads

Found in Facebook:

Like, seriously?!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Inneresting citizens we are

These newspaper ad cuttings are from The Sun dated on the 4th of February 2009:

1. Makes me wanna quit my TESL course and take this course instead. It’s not ridiculous, it’s EDUCATION!!

2. This man is looking for a “simple” Chinese lady. Hm…he didn’t mean a simpleton, right? 'Coz you know, he wouldn't want all his hard earning established business to get all swindled, right?

3. Adorable, sweet, young, lonely...Eddy, you are sooo twisted.

4. I guess engineers aren’t hot stuffs anymore.

5. Ravi: Are you my new mommy? Are you as desperate as daddy too?

6. Boy, this guy surely doesn’t believe in racial integration.

7. How subtle.

8. It’s just a massage, right? I don’t have to bring condoms, right? Just in case, no?

More Than Meets The Eye

I just watched the tease trailer of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.


Sunday, February 1, 2009

Noob tagged

I'm apparently 'tagged' by Zen. Am I supposed to copy the instruction too? Oh well. Here goes:

Your instructions:
Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you.
At the end, select a few people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them.
Don't forget to leave a comment (''You're tagged!'') and to read your blog.
You can't tag the person who tagged you.
Since you can't tag me, let me know when you've posted your blog, so I can see your weirdness.

1. I drew my first soft porn comic when I was 12.
2. I like to walk naked in my room.
3. People sometimes stare at me like I have a home-made sex taped that got leaked.
4. And no, I don't have a home made sex tape. Wait a minute...
5. Stephen King's "It" movie made me sleep at my parents bedroom when I was 9.
6. Stephen King's "It" movie made me pee on the mattress in my parents bedroom when I was
7. I hate taugeh.
8. I change my hair style every 3-5 months.
9. I'm obscene. Really obscene.
10. I still believe I'm not a klutz even if people prove it to me for the nth time. Oops, I think I
drop something.
11. My senses heightens when I'm sick. The shower this morning felt like a rain of icicle
12. I talk to myself. No you don't. Yes, you do. Stop it! I can't stop...
13. I eat like a savage beast.
14. I suffer from temporary amnesia. According to my friends, I got into a girl fight where I
pulled her hair and made her cry. I have no memory of it, I swear!
15. In school, teachers hate me because I was a smartass.
16. When I grow up, I would buy a second hand Toyota Celica so that I won't look like a

I'm gonna "roll the ball" to:
1. Chegu Carol
2. Izzatie
3. Asrih
4. Phyllicia
5. Rudy
6. Anyone who's reading this

I chose you coz...just because?