Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Chinese New Year: Getting hammered and sick at the same time - Big mistake


I'm now crawling under my blanket, with a runny nose, burning throat, dead cold feet and a throbbing headache.

I had fun though, and I learned a valuable lesson this holiday. This was what went down during the past few days:

Chinese New Year's Eve:

Dinner at home, with most of my relatives who knew my dad's kiu nyuk is the best in the whole wide world. And as usual, we, the younger generations went down to the pool and had an open bar. Cocktail of the night: Kamikaze.
Booze, check.
Deck of cards, check.
Junkfood, check.
A fat brother and an equally fat cousin playing sumo by the pool with only their pants on, check. A cousin yelling "I'm not wearing a bra" to avoid being carried and thrown into the pool, check.
Sneaking in the vodka and trying to walk in a straight line when coming back into the apartment, double check.


Aah...this is what Chinese New Year is all about.

Chinese New Year, First Day:
Woke up, wished my grandfather "gong xi fatt chai" and hugged him to get another extra hundred bucks (in which I did). Had breakfast, skipped the washing up part and went straight for the deck of cards. We played 21, casino and "kampung" style. First it was just my brothers and I. Then joined in my mother with her fanny pack full of coins for change. Just as I thought I was lucky, she took it away from me. Or maybe I got it from my mama? Anyways. Then joined in my father with his poker face. Poker-faced father bleached the dealer son's face white. Then joined in my grandfather. His face is lined with gambling experiences.

The dealer was stripped down naked.

Untill they pitied him decided to use just the "kampung" rule. He stripped us naked and went to buy the most expensive cigarettes he could find.

I finally went to wash up and take a bath, 'coz we were gonna go shopping. I needed a new bag to bring to class. Unfortunately, all the boutiques were closed, duh. But I found this:


FULLY ANAL JOYSTICK! Now if only I have a best friend who is gay...

At night, we had dinner at my aunt's place. I was feeling slightly under the weather already that time. The party was divided into to sections: The TV Room, and the Open Bar. The movie for the night? TITANIC. Surprisingly, EVERYONE was so engrossed in a movie that they've watched 87 times. Whoever walked past the telly was given a unanimous scolding from the crowd. And as for the Open Bar, the men were the one quenching their thirst till they were plastered. And literally plastered on the wall with their lobster face. I was in both sections: After thinking how Titanic could be a great literature story, perhaps even better than Wuthering Heights, I went to the Open Bar to get plastered. The liqour tasted real good when you're not feeling well, I realised. As if being cursed by Bronte, I got tipsy and sicker instead.

Chinese New Year, Second Day:
Woke up with a rattling cough and a squeaky voice. That night, we had another dinner at another aunt's place. As soon as we arrived there and gone through the niceties with other relatives, we went straight to an empty table to play Blackjack again. And no, it wasn't me who lead the pack, it was my mother with her fanny pack full of coins. This time, I was the dealer, and since my luck was nullified with my mother around, I was stripped. All stripped and sick and coughing like a bad engine, we decided to do some serious karoakeing. Helped myself to the cans of beer right in front of me - the coolness of it was really soothing, after much shouting and yelling and croaking. I went home a dumb and almost deaf person.

Chinese New Year, Third Day:
Officially sick. Went to a friend's place and there was booze...The vodka and the wine seemed to be the perfect elixir...before the world around me started spinning...

Chinese New Year, Fourth Day - TODAY:
I'm under the covers shivering and sniveling, writing this blog to tell everyone that NO, booze doesn't cure your fever, although it does make you feel good for a moment. Red wine may calm your nerves for a while, but it jams your nerves later; beer may soothe your burning throat, but it makes you want to jab a fork into your throat; and vodka is pure, pure evil.

So yeah, stay away from the the bar when you're sick, for whatever occasion that is.

Happy Chinese New Year people.

*pass out*

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Run - Snow Patrol



Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The answer to all your problems.



Good luck!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Run.


Run.
But you're bounded.
Speak.
But you're silenced.
Break.
But you're shackled.
Plead.
But you're guilty.

Silence is golden.
But it can kill you inside.
Words can free you.
But it can kill them inside.

Wash the blood off your hands.
Hope for redemption.

So run, speak, break and plead.
For what is done -
Is done.

Friday, January 9, 2009

My attempt to write a children's book.


Once a upon a time, there was a boy. He was a lonely boy. He wanted to find a girlfriend. Then one day, he met the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She was also the nicest person on earth. They soon became friends. However, the girl warned him - "I'm not good for you, leave while you still can." But the boy ignored her warning.

They became closer than ever. He was now in love with the girl. Then one day, he realised that the girl was actually a witch. She loans money to people for their soul and eats the souls of people who falls in love with her. By the time the boy realised this, it was too late. His soul had already been eaten.

He had already died inside.

~The End~

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The little things that matter: Crap


Crap, v - The passing out of solid waste matter from the rectum.

We do it once a day if we listen to our mother and take huge amount of fiber and drink eight glasses of water per day.

We do it once in three days if we pretend to listen to our mother and take moderate amount of fiber and drink four glasses of water per day.

We do it once in a week if we never listen to our mother and take nil amount of fiber and drink water only when we’re parched.

And when that turd plopped or slinked into its watery grave namely the toilet bowl, say a nice, size and texture of a banana; as hard as a rock (you should have listened to your momma) or an artsy splatter (God knows what you have eaten), has it ever occurred to you that this baby was in YOUR body? Like, a few minutes before you make a dash to the loo? Nasty.

And has it ever occurred to you, that when this nasty creation of yours makes it way out of the world, you have to admit that it feels good? Especially if you made an art attack in the toilet bowl (oh the agonizing cold sweats…)? Like, “aaah”….Freud did say that our second stage of pleasure comes from the anus and pooping. Only later then it rerouted to another region for another way, way awesome activity. Some men don’t make it though. Nonetheless, if feels good to poop. Nasty.

Moral of the story is, you are what you eat - is it gonna be a banana, a rock or the new Picasso? And, if there’s something wrong with your sex drive, try pooping.

Monday, January 5, 2009

2009, you suck.


So much for expecting sunshine in 2009. I hate 2009.

I have a research paper to write. And I'm not even a senior! Only final students do that. What gives?

I hate 2009.

I have to wear formal clothes i.e decent skirts every Tuesdays and Thurdays. For the first half an hour Edwin was knocking some sense in our sleepy heads what literature is REALLY about, I can't help thinking - I don't have fricking formal clothes here! \

I hate 2009.

I have classes on Fridays. Which is so weird coz we didn't have it lasts sem. It's sooo hard to get use to it.

I hate 2009.

Allowance will only come in March, rumors had it. Using the RM200 your parents give you so that you don't resort to eating maggi is horrible. Especially when you use it to buy 5 pairs of shoes at one go instead.

I hate 2009.

I'm ACTUALLY suppose to learn how to be, and to think like a teacher, all the courses I'm taking this semester said so. Dude, isn't it too early? Like, waaay early to learn all those stuffs...Can't we have something fun, say, theatre? Again?

I hate 2009.

2009, you disappoint me.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Letting myself in 'the club' for the sake of 09


Yeah, I'm letting myself in blogosphere. It seems to be the 'in' thing to do these days, so why not be a fad lover? Well, actually I do have a blog, but it's in Friendster and Friendster's kinda a snore now. Plus I heard some people's blogs got visited by hot famous people. Crossing my fingers Jason Lo will come across this. Crossing my fingers...

Plus, it's the new year already, so, what better way to spend this whole new year pouring out my inner feelings and deepest secrets to the whole wide web, huh?
Soooo...my first post would obviously be about my reflection of 2008 and my resolutions for 2009, like most bloggers would do. Hey, I'm in 'the club' now, so that's exactly what I'm gonna do. So, here goes...
2008. I love 2008. It started out a dud, but eventually, I actually had that THE all-true university life - missing class for a month, partying, sneaking in booze, sneaking in hostel in the wee hours, and other collegely debacles. And oh, it's so gonna continue till 2009. Besides that, I met new, awesome people; managed to be a high-flyer despite the partying and coming back two hours before a final paper starts, and totally kicked ass in my theatre production. Ah, the memories.
It wasn't THAT perfect though, for there were those frustrating, angsty, depressing times, like, when the stupid fights happened with my closest friends and my loved ones; the stupid tennis practical test, and the stupid overwhelming theatre preparations. Ah, the memories.
Above all, I was actually happy with my life. Me being the most ungrateful person on the earth is actually happy for the lil things that I have. So I'm not an heiress and I don't have a rockstar boyfriend, so what? That's what 2009 is all about. And in the meantime, I'm happy and thankful for what I have now.
As for 2009, I'm looking forward for it. It's my last semester in UPM, so it will be the last of THE university life and in the second half of the year, it's back to that shit hole called IPTI. I'll get back about that shit hole when the time comes. And I swear there'll be plenty to trash about.
But for now, I'm carpedieming, and living my life, and hoping to be discovered to be a billionaire's daughter, and to be swooned by a rock star. Happy new year!