Thursday, June 18, 2009

Young marriage: Love or baby?

A conversation takes place between a conservative mother and a young but very open minded daughter.

Daughter: Mom, when did you and dad got married?
Mother: Why, it was right after we graduated from highschool, in December 2009.
: But I was born in June 2010. I knew it! Grumpy Ole Granny is right. I WAS an accident!
Mother: Honey, shush, what are you talking about?
Daughter: Oh, come on Mom, you got married right after high school?
Mother: So? Your dad and I were madly and love and just can't wait to start a life together!
Daughter: Yeah, and I was born 7 months later. Two months is just enough to plan a shot gun wedding, huh.
Mother: Child! I don't understand where you are going with this!
Daughter: Oh mother, stop pretending. I know all about the birds and the bees, and I'm totally fine with your youthly, recklessness. Really, Mom.
Mother: Mind your language young lady! You're only 10!
Daughter: I am minding my language. I said the birds and the bees.
Mother: Whatever is it that you're thinking, it's nonsense! You were a premature baby for God's sakes!
Daughter: Oh. Really? Hm. Never thought of it that way. Guess Granny was just being grumpy.


There is a social stigma that career driven, money minded, knowledge-pursuer, rat race runner marriage cynics have on married young couples.

The reason they always assume for these young couples' holy matrimony? The girl got knocked up.

It's seldom about oh-we're-so-in-love-screw-my-education-let's-get-married-tomorrow.

It's seldom about I-can't-wait-to-be-a-housewife-and-have-kids.

During our parents' time on the other hand, getting married right after (or before) secondary school is a normal thing. Some marry to ease their family's burden. Some marry 'coz they can't afford higher education. And some marry 'coz of lack of knowledge on contraceptive devices.

But today, it looks bad to get married right after your SPM. People won't believe in true love. They believe in babies.

Plus the age to settle down statistically today has increased to 24 above for women, and 27 above for men.

I don't have anything against those who marry early, but I am guilty of having that unfair presumption and judgment.

A conversation takes place this morning between my brother and I:

Brother: Another friend of us got knocked up!
Me: Really? So that explains the wedding...
Brother: Well, I don't know about that. I just assumed.
Me: Oh. Could be though.

I'm a cynic. Help.


kei-1 said...

I wouldn't blame people for having the pre-conceived idea about early marriages though. It really has nothing to do with gender or any school of thoughts like feminism or existentialism or anything.

IMO, the reason why we jump into that conclusion is because of the nature of youngsters today. Just look at most of them, how many of them that you know is really matured enough and is able to face the reality of life as it is. For some reason as the world is getting more and more advance the level of maturity drops. Even those in their 20s are still acting like a spoil brat.

Life was harsh back then, everyone know their roles and so people married early. They were prepared to face the responsibilities. My grandparents were married in their teens (around 14yrs old I think) but they were serious about it.

With how teenagers and young adults act today I won't blame people to jump unto that conclusion. IMO that is the case.

chegu carol said...

And I second the above comment.

bano said...

usually, that's what people thought when a young couple got married. true love? unheard of in these days when we cant even trust our own instinct let alone other people. maybe its true that the situation today forces people to have that pre-conceived ideas that young couple who got married is because they have to, not because they truly wanted to. nonetheless, i agreed that the screw-my-education part is not relevant now as marriage should not be an excuse for a young woman to be a baby machine and not realizing how intelligent she can be. so, early marriage? nothing's wrong with that. just remember to get contraceptive if yourself is just a kid trying to figure out the mythical human body.

Amanda Christine Wong said...

and i totally second everyone's it's not wrong to judge, right?'Coz we can't help it?

hojiayiing said...

Interesting~ Amanda, are u planning to get married anytime soon, say after graduate? Cuz there are the constant whispers that say its better we teachers-to-be get married so wont get posted to ulu's your opinion on this? :)

Atie Kamil said...

hehe...i am guilty as charged!
not for the baby okay!
for wanting to get married, like right now..
but still
cynical is what our society is all about.
so we're not to blame if we start being cynics too..
after all,
it really happens right..
your 'premature baby' story, i mean........