Wednesday, June 10, 2009

End of single life VS A comfortable life


Somewhere in the future, a conversation takes place between a teacher and her 9 year old daughter...

Daughter: Mommy, when did you know you wanted to marry Daddy?
Mommy : Why sweetie, right before mommy had to fill out the posting form before Mommy graduated.
Daughter
: ...

Mommy
: Honey, Mommy had to, or else Mommy would've end up teaching monkeys in the
jungle.
Daughter
: ...

Mommy
: Rural schools were so much in demand of teachers those days.

Daughter
: ...

Mommy
: FINE. When Mommy and Daddy realised we were so much in love and had to be
together for the rest of our lives.

The teacher's daughter jovially kisses the cheek of her mother and continues with her Barbie and Kent wedding ceremony.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Virtually half of my seniors and superseniors got engaged/married before they graduated. A couple of my classmates plan to get engaged before they graduate. And I just heard a rumour that one of them got married during this hols (Deeyah, I need more clarification from you though).

And one of the reasons for such major decision? So that when they graduate, they'd be able to get posted back to their hometown school, or their fiance's place; and not end up teaching in a soil grounded hut of a school tucked deep in the ruralest area in Malaysia. And of course, there's love, too, no doubt.

I don't want to judge their decision to get married for this reason, and I surely wish them well in their life's new chapter.

I just don't condone it.

To end a fabulous, carefree single life and to step into a lifelong commitment just because you are so afraid of crawling out of your comfort zone to go teach in a foreign, God forsaken place is just plain dumb. If you wanna get hitch to that dude from the same hometown you just met six months ago, not having much time to know that he might or might not be the one for you 'coz you have to fill out those bloody posting forms pronto, is dumber. Believing that you will learn to love that person eventually with a consolation that you're still living with your parents could be the dumbest decision of all.

To me, getting married is way, way scarier than being posted in a rural area. Yeah, sure I'll stay in my comfort zone, my little warm hometown, but being in a marriage is so not a comfortable place to be in yet!I mean, come on! A lifelong commitment? Nagging from parents and in-laws for grandkiddies they can play with? No more late night partying and boozing? How do you even know that person is right for you? That he will help you clean out your stern and change your adult diapers when you're old and wrinkly and have uncontrollable bladder? Call me a commitment phobe, but I'd rather commit to my job wherever I get posted than to commit to a marriage with a guy I'm not even so sure I wanna grow old with. After all, you can always ask for a transfer. You can however not ask to go back to being single and free.

I don't know about you, but this is just my two cents. I hope my classmates and juniors and all teacher trainees won't use the "I don't wanna get posted in outside my hometown" excuse just to get married and end their freedom to individuality. I mean, if they do they wanna get married/engaged before they graduate (can't blame being horny), I really hope it'd be out of true love and the discovery that that person they are going to make the biggest life sacrifice of all to, is definitely THE ONE.

Otherwise, I wish them well.

14 comments:

deeyah said...

yes manda.. She married on May 30th.. But this wasn't a big event.. she told me, that this was unplanned.. hmm... I agree with the part that perhaps those who choose to get married or engaged is a way for them to secure a place where they want to be posted to later on.. But, i come to think, if everybody chooses to be back at their hometown, who will be teaching at those 'scary' rural places?

to be honest.....
I want to be posted here in my hometown... Because i know this place was kind of rural too.. The percentage of the students to understand one whole English sentence that u uttered was merely 20%... That's one of the reason why i really want to teach my people.. But i don't know about other people...

All in all... Teachers should change their mentality.. Rural people are HUMAN too...

Asrih Arif said...

Im not blaming anyone for the fact that they dont want to go to any of the god-forsaken-isolated-i-dont-know-where-it-is place to teach. Its totally individual.

BUT, putting 'MARRIAGE' as the main reason for you to not get posted in rural areas is just OUTRAGEOUS. Marriage is like you said a "life time commitment". A huge responsibility awaits you at the other end.

Adoi... emo emo...

kei-1 said...

"woman like you who gets married whenever she faces trouble puts to shame all the other woman that has fought for feminism!" - Akutsu Maya, Queen's Classroom

I 100% agree to that statement, there is so much at stake in marriage but yet people take it lightly. Just because certain uncertainties they'd engage in it. Some girls talk so much about wanting to be equal but when there's trouble they'd make use of the female privilege that they have. That's why feminist wannabe sucks.

Although this is a screwed up society we're living in, don't end up screwing yourself by impulsive actions. Getting married is like what you said basically, I could never understand why would they get tied up so quickly where life has only started.

I have a male friend who is married at 21. What a waste of life. Sheesh.

Mohd Sharazi Zulkeffli said...

People getting marry early just to secure their lives and scare of the uncertainty in the future are considered unintelligent to me. They are not doing it for the sake of love, but for the sake of securing their financial, career and lives. To secure something that is considered comfortable to them. I guess the reason why most of the women who want to marry early feel that when they are getting older and still single, nobody want them and feel that they are unattractive. But to me, when it comes to love, time will tell. That is what my parent told me. How would you know? You will know. That person would not be perfect. She probably the nastiest person you ever meet and some of her qualities make you despise of her, but deep down inside your heart, you don’t know why, you love her. Love does not need a reason to me. To those who married early just to secure something that they are scared of losing, which is not love because you use reason to fall in love. If they marry early because they are meant for each other or memang dah jodoh, that will be a different story. Time will determine when and who your life partner is. Setiap orang ada jodohnya yang telah ditentukan oleh Allah. If jodoh is already decided by God, there is no need for you to worry whether you meet that special someone or not. Time will decide. So, what you have to do now, to me, is be yourself. Enjoy life. You live once. There is no guarantee you will have a second chance. Unless you believe in karma.

Amanda Christine Wong said...

THANK YOU! I'm glad ya'll agree with me!

Deeyah: I'm really glad to hear you have a more substantial reason to stay in your hometown :). Now I give you the blessing to get engaged before we graduate :D

Asrih: Asrih, are you bounded by the government too? Like, you'll have to go wherever god forsaken hospitals they send you to?

Kei: I like the anecdote. Have you checked how miserable your married friend is now? hehe

Sharazi: Right on!!! So...are you planning to get engaged before we graduate?Just a thought :D

Mohd Sharazi Zulkeffli said...

Nope. Stabilize our career first, collect money and then get marry. just like i said, time will tell. What the use of getting engaged early if you haven't stabilize your career and have a sufficient fund in your disposal to get marry. If my love and I are meant for each other, we will get marry. it better to accomplish one thing at a time before making a life time commitment. To me, engaged before graduate has it risks. because anything could happen. You haven't stabilize your career and financial yet, how on earth are you going to manage your marriage?

kei-1 said...

eh? he probably wouldn't even realized what he has missed. Last I heard that he's having 2 kids already. Probably too "occupied" to think of other things. Poor thing.

deeyah said...

HAHAHA..... TQ manda... But i belum jumpa the one to get engaged to... Or in other words the one i want to get engaged to... hehehe... Lets have fun and enjoy single's life first.. Marriage is a destiny.. Destiny was written way before we were born to this world. Therefore, engagement, marriage will have nothing to do with the place that we are going to be posted after we graduated... Because it is all well written in our DESTINY... What say you???

Amanda Christine Wong said...

Sharazi: Yeah, definitely 'anything' can happen and there are 'risks' getting engaged before graduating ;D. Good for you! If only other insecure teacher trainees think the same...

Kei: Poor thing huh..Haha!

Deeyah: Yup, let's enjoy our single life first -yay! Uhuh, destiny...JAI HO! hehe...I pray you'll finally meet your destiny :)

deeyah said...

TQ manda... Will wait for it... *wink*

Shah: I like ur p.o.v... Better be prepared for any unwanted end rather than preparing for an ideal beginning....

Asrih Arif said...

bounded only for 2 years. having said that, i dont mind working any where. im young and healthy hahahah so no worries...

Amanda Christine Wong said...

Asrih: You're sent to Ireland to study and bounded only for two years?! I'm sent to a crappy Maktab and bounded for FIVE freakin years. WHAT INJUSTICE!!!

Anonymous said...

interesting blog n comments..senior, i love to read ur blog lolz=p
by the way, i'm quite agree with u too..i'm also that kind of wont risk my marriage on posting.. -hui yi

bano said...

i dont really know which one of us has gotten married, no suprise because this holiday has been an isolation period for me. not a single sms, let alone comments or whatever you called it in those social networking sites.

for those who got married early even before graduation, well i wish them well. maybe they have their own reason for doing so. maybe they dont want to end up alone and wrinkly with no warm bodies beside them to wake up to every morning. sure, being single is great, but how do you know being married isnt?

the question of marriage is a tricky one. sometimes, people say marriage is just for the sake of condoning acts that you supposedly cant do while you were single (u know what i mean). sometimes, marriage is just a way of shutting up nosy relatives and over-eager family members. for me, i dont know. never thought of marriage, hell i never even thought of falling in love and being played for a guy who ended up being a serial dater with girls in his own cohort.

so, what say you Manda? marriage, yes or no?