Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Unhoarding: Step 1

I finally did it. I cleared my old, torn and never-used clothes out that I have accumulated over the years.

It was hard saying goodbye to these three particular items:

1. My favourite tee:

2. My favourite capri:

3. The only decent blouse that I actually like:

And of course, I stumbled upon my hideous IPTI t-shirts and also my one and only IPG shirt:

Gawd they're fugly (except the IPG one - much more bearable). Definitely going into the bin.

And I also found my garish IPTI batik:

The temptation to throw it out was unbearable. But I have to use it still when I go back there, or else I'll get detained under the Akta 174 (or so I think it is) and get eletrocuted.

So in the end my mountainous pile of unwanted clothes came to this:


And yeah, and that IPTI cap is going too.

These clothes are going to the nearest orphanage. Lucky kids. Or probably not.

The bag that will bring me one step to heaven.

Now I can finally fit a skeleton in my closet and hide dismembered body parts in my drawers.

Just a random thought.

Monday, May 25, 2009

The little things that matter: Dreams

Dream,n - a series of images, ideas, emotions and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.

I dream every night. About random things, about what I just did during the day, about my past and also about recurring events. Some people don't. Some people claim that dreaming makes them tired, like they have not actually slept. But I like dreaming. I like waking up in the morning, recalling the absurd events that I went through in my dreams - it's entertaining, mystifying, and sometimes downright disturbing.

I have recurring dreams, mostly. The events in my dreams most of the time takes place in a setting of my past, for example, my old house and my primary school. So if I get chased by terrorists or lions, it would be at the corridor of S.R.K St. Francis Xavier. I also always dream about my teeth falling off, which makes reality a paradise when I wake up. Besides that, I always dream of being in volcanic rage towards my parents which takes place in my old house. Freud suggest that bad dreams let the brain learn to gain control over emotions resulting from distressing experiences. So when I wake up, I still love them to death and casting out any disgruntled feelings towards them at the same time.

Have you ever dreamt that you hear your alarm ringing somewhere in the background as you are fighting aliens, when suddenly you realised, it is your alarm screaming for you to wake up in reality? According to a source in Wiki, dreams can link to actual sensations, such as the incorporation of environmmental sounds into dreams, just like the above.

I always have that dream, but I always, always have that dream where in the middle of a climaxical event of my dream, I need to pee and run to the nearest toilet (oddly, toilet cubicals are always there); but when I'm already squatting above the toilet bowl, I just can't, the glorious flow of liquid from my bladder just won't come out. So when I needed to pee so badly in my dream, I wake up. In reality, I am indeed in need to pee badly.

But today's pee dream is the weirdest.

Usually I'll just snap out of my dream and run for the toilet. In my dreams, I was half way pulling down my shorts but I find it difficult to do so, as if I'm lying on my back and trying to remove my shorts. Somehow someway something jolted me to reality and I opened my eyes and "WTF" escaped from my lips first thing in the morning. I was doing exactly what I was doing in my dreams.

Now that really creeped me out. The line between dreams and the real world, unconscious and lucidity was freakin' blur. It was really a close call. Or else I'd be blogging about a whole new different subject today; or I would've kept it as my deepest, darkest secret of all time.

Saturday, May 23, 2009


I can see you clearly
As you can see me
We smile at each other dearly
But I can't touch you - and you can't touch me

"Brick walls are there for a reason"
To push yourself against adversities
But when pain and rejection turns to treason
Glass walls are there to disconnect entities

So I took the backdoor to escape
To run away from this emotional rape
A backdoor build on lies and deception -
Masterly crafted over time without exception

For these glass walls and backdoor
Are the only things that keeps us from war.

Friday, May 22, 2009

"Woman bites lover's penis off in car crash"

This is the headline under the category 'weird' in Metro.co.uk.

This is the story:
A boss and his secretary who were having an affair saw their romantic tryst interrupted in a wince-inducing manner - after a car crash led her to accidentally bite his penis off.

According to reports in China Press and Sin Chew Daily, the 30-year-old woman was performing oral sex on her boss in a car in a Singapore park, when the car was struck by a reversing van.

The impact caused her to bite the man's penis off.

Just in case this wasn't already bad enough for those involved, the incident was observed by a private detective who had been sent by the woman's husband to catch them out.

He described how, shortly after parking, the car started to 'shake violently' - but then was hit by the van. He said that the woman screamed loudly, with her mouth covered in blood.

Helpfully, the investigator called an ambulance to take the man to hospital. His lover followed him there, with part of his penis.

The investigator said he's never seen an incident like it before.

Moral of the story?
1. Find a more remote place
2. Get a room
3. Bring an icebox should something like this happen
4. Insure your penis
5. Just get a damn room

P/S: Don't even thinking of BJing in a moving vehicle. Instant castration will ensue.

Icarus' Dreams

You are young
Follow your dreams
Life in unpredictable
Seize the day

Be reckless
Live life on the edge
You have a pair of wings
What are you waiting for
Fly - the world is yours to conquer
Like Icarus, who dreamt and flew across the sea.

But wait, you can't.

It's a dangerous world out there
Dreams are meant to shrivel and die
Life is unpredictable
and Carpe Diem is a lie

So take a step back from the edge
Cut off your bloody wings
Let it rot unused

You are a youth who is reckless
You belong in a cage where you are safe
Stay - the world is out of your reach
Like Icarus, who dreamt and fell into the sea.

15 Forever

When the world is against me,
and they don't understand nor care
I want to punch the wall with fury
and slit my arms in despair
I want to lock myself in the bathroom
and just cry my bleeding eyes out.

But my knuckles might break
My arms would scar
I can't stay in the loo forever
and risk swollen eyes the day after

So I wish I was 15 again
When all of these didn't matter
To be a misunderstood angry teenager

Yet here I am
When the world is against me
and they don't understand nor care
Punching the wall with fury
Slitting my arms in despair
Locking myself in the bathroom
and just crying my bleeding eyes out

Being at whatever age doesn't matter
As far as they are concerned -
I have always been 15 forever.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Slumdog Millionaire vs Q&A

For those who do not know what Q&A is, it is the novel that the movie Slumdog Millionaire is based on. It is now republished as Slumdog Millionaire though, after the hugely successful movie.

As we are all aware, movies based on literary bestsellers always bombs. Who could ever forget the disastrous Da Vinci Code movie? It was just so painful to watch it because the book was too good.

So anyway. People who have read Q&A before watching the movie would think the movies is not that awesome; and those who haven't read the book but watched the movie think it is superbly awesome.

I, who have watched the movie first also think that the movie is superbly awesome and I loved it to death.

But what happens when you read the book after you watch the movie?

I always believed that words are better than moving pictures, so I was prepared to be crushed knowing that the movie I love is nothing but a bad, disastrous idea like the Da Vinci Code.

Surprisingly, it wasn't. And I was glad. I can watch the movie again and still be moved.

This is because I think that the plot is completely different than in the movie. The basic elements are in there, even some of the questions and the events, but it moves differently. So Danny Boyle did not butcher the novel by creating the exact visuals and expectations in the movie, but rather interpreted in his own way, adding a little bit of Hollywood/Bollywood glam, drama and romance in it. Though the plot and characters are different in the movie, Boyle managed to maintain the irony, tragedy and the bittersweetness of the story. And the outcome is still as beautiful and as gripping as the novel.

And as for the novel, it is just superb. Vikas Swarup throws in comedy, tragedy, foreshadowing, symbols, irony, and magnificent imageries together to create a powerful plot; not to mention the mirroring of lives in the Indian slums.

This is however my point of view of reading the book after watching the movie. Some people might disagree though. 'Coz I wouldn't know how I'd feel if I did read the book first and set my expectations high for the movie.

If you ask to me choose which I like better, I can't - both are just equally amazing.

What does it take to find a lost love?

"It's written ~ destiny"

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Bracing myself for a change

Literally, that is.

Since I was nine, my teeth architecture has always been a disaster. So when I was twelve, my mom brought me to the dentist to fix braces. However, being brought to a government hospital, I was put on the waiting list of the appointment with the dentist.

I was then called for my appointment. THREE years later.

Dentist said my teeth weren't that bad, so even if I wear braces, the change won't be that significant. But I still could wear it to at least make it look slightly better.

So it was time to decide. When I was twelve, it didn't matter to me if I wear braces or not. But I was approaching sixteen and boy, I was a conscious and insecure teenager. Plus I was going to another school after my PMR, and so I didn't want to be known as "the new girl with braces". I'd be taunted and, how am I suppose to get a boyfriend?

So I said no.

Eight years later, I regretted my folly teenage life changing decision. Suddenly everywhere I go, I see people wearing braces and they don't look as bad as I thought people wearing braces should. Like, suddenly, it is finally OK to wear braces - you won't get taunted and you still can hook up.

So now, I have decided that I want to wear braces. But I have only one factor that's hindering me from doing it. And it's not the pain, the inconvenience or the definite taunting.

My teeth will finally be toothpaste ad friendly, no doubt. But will I still look the same? Maybe prettier, maybe not; but will I still look me? That is what I'm afraid of. See, if I do do it, my upper lip will look less 'bee-stung'; and some people say that I might lose that very essence that makes me 'me'.

So, straight, nice teeth but makes me look totally different; or buck and crooked teeth but forever looking like me?

Decisions, decisions.

Monday, May 18, 2009

More babydaddy dramz!


As I have posted earlier, we have learnt that Alfie is not the babydaddy little Maisie. He was crestfallen and distraught that he didn't knocked up that elephant Chantelle and couldn't be the youngest dad in the world. And oh, because Chantelle lied to him saying that she had lost her virginity to his peen and had never slept with other tweens.

This is the real babydaddy!

Turns out the dad to the four month old is 15-year-old Tyler Barker, who happens to live on the same estate as Chantelle. The teen says he slept with slutty Chantelle only once when he was 14 at her parent's home.

He claims, “It was routine for boys to stay over in her bed. I only slept with her once.”

Oh, and he also blames Chantelle, adding that after having unprotected sex she told him she would take the morning after pill. "I thought she'd take care of it," he added.

- perezhilton.com

At least Tyler is much more credible to impregnate a woman. Now I would like to pose the same question I posed to Alfie, "What were you thinking?! You're a cutie - you can do much, much better than this!"

Hm..do you think he's ecstatic to be a dad, just like Alfie?

Saturday, May 16, 2009

My first Levi's jeans

Okay, this may occur sad to some of you but what the hell - I wasn't born with a silver spoon and I can't afford such luxury. Yet.

Someone once said to me, "When you receive your first salary, make sure you treat your friends and family a good meal. And most importantly, get yourself a Levi's jeans using your hard earned money."

For some people, this legendary pair of jeans is a symbol of wealth, power and style. Buying it yourself if you can easily afford is different. But buying a mere pair of jeans that costs more than your house rent when you finally can afford it; that's where ownership is power. It is the beginning of your working life and the coveting of all things material. You will also treasure and remember it for the rest of your life.

I, too, believed in this principle.

But sometimes, our lust for all things material brings down that pillar that had guided us and we fall for shortcuts in life.

I just had to have it. Now.


I just happen to be lucky to be granted this wish by my significant other. He's one in a gazillion. Talk about shortcuts huh. I will still remember and treasure it (and of course, his act of generosity) for the rest of my life.

There was a tinge of shame though, for not sticking to this principle. But when one principle goes down the drain, you can always create a new one.

So for my first salary, I will treat my friends and family a nice meal, and get me a GUESS bag.

Unless though...

Teacher's Day is...my day too now?

Let me say that again.

Teacher's Day is...my day too now?

Weird. Just so weird. I have friends wishing me "Happy Teacher's Day!".

But...I'm not a teacher. Yet.

Is it such a big deal to go wishing and get wishes on this day? For Pete's sake, I don't even know today is Teacher's Day till I got text messages from coursemates.

So it's my day too now. Another day to 'celebrate' in my calender.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate this day just because I never thought of becoming a teacher.

I'm just coming into terms with it.

I'll surely remember this date, anticipate it, jump for joy, and wish all teachers a happy one when I have come into terms that this day is my day too.


For those who is in this profession though, happy Teacher's :)

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Accident

He put the gun down
(It was just an accident)
He wiped her bloody crown
(It was just a silly argument)
He tried to find a pulse
Founding none he started to convulse
Wrapped in woe
He never meant to hurt her
How would he know
it’d kill her right after?

Now he is shrouded with utter guilt
Of a crime he didn’t mean to commit
As she lays there motionless
Glowing with innocence
He wants to call 911
But what if they see the gun?
He holds her body close
As it grows colder under his nose
It crushes him inside
To see she’s still a beautiful sight

By God, what have he done?
He shouldn’t have touched the gun.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Death Of A Dancing Queen

The music is toned down
The lights are switched on
The deejay says good night motherfuckers
Come again same night same time
To the sea of dispersing people
To everyone -but me
It’s time to face the deafening music
And hang my dancing shoes
‘Coz Mr. Deejay, I won’t be coming back again
As the club door closes to this sweet life I had
Leaving me wanting but for more
But the podium was once mine
And the nights had been seized
So now I can sleep well
And once in while,
Dream of dancing once again.

I dedicate this post to those who have made my Thursday and weekend nights oh-so-awesome. You guys are rockstars.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

My hereditary disease

It took me awhile to admit that I have inherited one of my mother's chronic disease.

She's a hoarder!

And so am I!

These makeups were accumulated since five years ago. Some of them that I barely used and never used.

And clothes and bags I have since the start of the millennium all shoved in one tiny wardrobe. And I have a 'beg cina' full of my maktab clothes too. Somewhere. And don't get me started with my shoes.

Female magazines that I have kept since November 2003 which I did contemplated to send to the recycling center someday. It just look nice all stacked up like that.

See my Spice Girls cassette? Yes, this huge container holds up all my cassettes and Playstation 1 CDs I have collected since I was 11. I like to think that they were the soundtrack of my ascent from tween to teenager. And a gentle reminder that I was at one point so lame to think Westlife was cool. Damn it, I gotta get rid of this container.

And of course my CDs and DVDs. I wonder how valuable these things will get in 20 years?

And three boxes full of my past (i.e. highschool): love letters, cards, pictures, badges, name tags, journals, you name it! I WILL get rid of these things, someday.

I always nagged my mother for hoarding things and have always tried to make her get rid of her junk; without realising I too have junks to get rid. But I did it. I have got ridden half of my expired makeups. However getting rid of the other things won't be that easy.

One step at a time, they say.

See, I knew someday I'll get a huge inheritance...

I got a spam-mail today:

I accidentally clicked on it instead of clicking delete like I always did. Well what do you know?! I was dithering for a moment on whether I should open the file 'coz it might be anthrax. But I was on my brother's computer so, yeah, why not. Here's what the disclosed message said:

I'm rich! Woohoo! Like the other 1.5 million people Mr. Barrister spammed.