Thursday, April 9, 2009

The little things that matter: Toes

Toes,n - The five movable parts at the end of each foot

Have you ever wondered why you have toes? What purpose do they serve? How does it contribute to your livelihood? What will happen if you don’t have it? Will you die? Will you still be able to stand, to walk, to run?

For the purpose of this post, let’s focus on my toes.

People say I'm pretty. People have to the extent asked me whether I'm a model. It’s flattering, and at the same time ridiculous. They should’ve seen my toes first before making such high statements. Yes. I have really, really ugly toes. Even appalling, you could say. They do not look like they belong to me. God must’ve been in a hurry to touch up on my toes. But I have long accepted my fate. And with acceptance, comes openness to talk about it. So here I am, showing you that I too am flawed.

Warning: The following images might cause you to
a. vomit last night’s food
b. unable to continue eating whatever that you are eating right now
c. unable to look at me and have a normal conversation anymore
d. unable to look at me without thinking “BUT JUST LOOK AT HER TOES!!!”
e. look at your own toes and analyze ‘em and realized you have ugly toes too.

Now is your chance to close this window and lead a happy, normal life. Or, you could continue reading this post and risk being marred by the images of my toes.

Don’t say I didn’t warn ya. Get ready to be grossed out.

A. Both ‘pinky’ toes grows sideways, like plants reaching for the sun on their left and right side.

B. Both ‘index’ toes are longer than the big toe. Remember the guy in Shallow Hal who can’t stand girls with that kind of toes?

C. Notice the mountainous terrain of the toe nail. It just won’t grow flat, I don’t know why.

D. Notice the HUGE gap between the big toe and the index toe. I’m terrified by its vastness.

E. This is the grossest part. This toe has a lump, bump, hump or whatever in God's name you may want to call it. Could it be that this toe suffers the consequences of wearing 4" heels peep toes? Luckily it's outgrowing its deformity. I hope.

F. Collectively, they just look all so wrong. Like they belonged to the Elephant Man. There goes my dreams of becoming a toe model.

Reader, are you still there? I hope this revelation won't shatter your sweet image of me. But if it does, check your toes first you purist. Anyways. God made us perfect in His eyes, but not necessarily perfect in others eyes, including ours. We just have to rock out our flaws. Hence my obsession to shoes as adornment of them toes.


chegu carol said...

at least u dont have bunions the way my feet has...bidah eh! mau cari shoes pun have to find one that can cover both bunions.

sHeiLa said...

bunions??wuts det

my toes pun bida ni ba..jan cakap the kulit2 mati lagi gross!

MeMeR said...

kinda double euw but nevermind,everyone has their own flaws

SaM said...

i have fugly toes too. my toes are crooked. my dad used to tell me he should've tied my toes to straighten them while i was still a baby. he's mean. he still makes fun of them. i hate my toes. and my toe nails. but still, i'd rather have ugly toes than none at all.

SaM said...

btw my pinky toes grow sideways too! haha

Amanda Christine Wong said... so glad im not the only one with fugly toes! :D

Melancholic Fool said...

and i think you guys are over scrutinizing... lol...

dont serang me after dis ok... i am just saying that... all toes are like that... there are no ugly toes... ask tyra banks... she'll tell you

Asrih Arif said...

I've seen a lot of uglier toes... those of diabetics and gangrenous... but selalunya org yang pakai kasut tinggi yang selalu rosak the toe... and sometimes they have to undergo surgery kalau mau kasi bgs tu toe!!! so jgn pakai kasut tinggi!!!