Monday, March 30, 2009
Alfie is not the babydaddy!
Paging Maury Povich!
Turns out wee Brit Alfie Patten is not the father of baby Maisie with village-bicycle-with-training-wheels girlfriend Chentelle.
A DNA test revealed that 13-year-old Alfie is not the baby's daddy. The boy took the test after several lads came forward claiming to have slept with 15-year-old Chantelle.
Alfie's mom said, "It had not even crossed Alfie’s mind whether Chantelle had not been faithful to him. He’s absolutely devastated that these lads say they slept with her."
Apparently, Chantelle's mom ordered her slutty daughter to insist that she had been a virgin prior to sleeping with Alfie. But science has revealed the truth!
Alfie's dad said, "He said it was the first time he’d had sex, he didn’t know what he was doing or the complications that could come. I’ll talk to him again and it’ll be the birds and bees talk."
We think that by now, Alfie is well acquainted with the birds and the bees. What his dad needs to do is buy him a 24 pack of condoms.
First of all, PHEW!
And Alfie, so you're elephanto girlfriend is a slut. Get over it, you can go play pirates with your friends now. I feel sorry for you though, 'coz you know, nothing can beat changing diapers and waking up at 3 a.m. everyday; not even exhanging red tapes with your friends, trying pot and playing Guitar Hero the whole day.
at 1:05 AM