Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The little things that matter: Crap


Crap, v - The passing out of solid waste matter from the rectum.

We do it once a day if we listen to our mother and take huge amount of fiber and drink eight glasses of water per day.

We do it once in three days if we pretend to listen to our mother and take moderate amount of fiber and drink four glasses of water per day.

We do it once in a week if we never listen to our mother and take nil amount of fiber and drink water only when we’re parched.

And when that turd plopped or slinked into its watery grave namely the toilet bowl, say a nice, size and texture of a banana; as hard as a rock (you should have listened to your momma) or an artsy splatter (God knows what you have eaten), has it ever occurred to you that this baby was in YOUR body? Like, a few minutes before you make a dash to the loo? Nasty.

And has it ever occurred to you, that when this nasty creation of yours makes it way out of the world, you have to admit that it feels good? Especially if you made an art attack in the toilet bowl (oh the agonizing cold sweats…)? Like, “aaah”….Freud did say that our second stage of pleasure comes from the anus and pooping. Only later then it rerouted to another region for another way, way awesome activity. Some men don’t make it though. Nonetheless, if feels good to poop. Nasty.

Moral of the story is, you are what you eat - is it gonna be a banana, a rock or the new Picasso? And, if there’s something wrong with your sex drive, try pooping.

1 comment:

Zen said...

My dad sez that no matter how pretty a girl is, she still looks like everyone else when she poops.


BTW,

Im ready for the WAY WAY AWESOME ACTIVITY!!!

...but not with my rectum.